What was meant to be a defiant speech chastising President Donald Trump and his royal invite to Britain to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the D-Day landings turned out to be something else for Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn.
“During his nauseating speech, Comrade Corbyn was spitting out vitriol at everything to do with democracy, capitalism, D-Day, private land ownership and of course Donald Trump when a little red squirrel, one of our own I might add, sneaked into his trousers and went up his leg. There was a squeaking sound heard through the microphone, and this is when Jezza started to shake his leg wildly shrieking like a wounded feminist who had just been dragged out of her safespace,” one shocked onlooker revealed.
According to a doctor on the site, the squirrel must have been searching for nuts, or acorns, and mistook Corbyn’s left testicle as a morsel of food to stash in a tree trunk somewhere.
“I attended to Comrade Corbyn immediately after his speech was halted abruptly. The squirrel had bitten into the patient’s scrotal sac and his teeth had gnashed his left testicle. One can understand why this would create pain in the recipient that would be at quite a high level.”
Comrade Corbyn was taken to a local hospital for immediate medical assistance.
As for the squirrel, the little blighter thankfully escaped and was chased off the stage by the so-called animal loving socialist Marxists.