“I don’t like the English as much as any other American, but we got to get chummy with them for another war that we have to do with Israel. I’m doing this because Bibi said I had to, and when the time comes, we’ll pull out of Afghanistan and Iraq and concentrate on the meat and potatoes of the pie, or something like that. Y’all know we got our wives out here so the cameras check them out while we do the dirty deals in the back room finalising the attack on Iran. The Brits fucked with my Grandpa, and they spilled all that oil and shit over our waters, but we need them now as much as they need us for shitty sitcoms and junk food,” Mr Obama told an applauding audience in the White House’s East Room.
The special relationship between Britain and America has had many ups and downs in the last decade, and it reached its low-point under the tenure of Gordon Brown, who was publicly fobbed off by Obama and made to look like an idiot in front of the whole world. It seems that David Cameron is getting a much better reception and he even has his wife on tow this time upping the tempo.
“Don’t forget Obongo’s up for re-election and he has to be seen to be doing something high profile. It’s not just spend, spend and golf, this time it’s spend, spend and talk some foreign policy with some English dude,” political commentator, Carmine Phucker, told the Capitol Hill Observer newspaper.