17.7 C
Monday, June 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMarch 29 2019: Brits Celebrate Brexit Independence Day Across the Nation

March 29 2019: Brits Celebrate Brexit Independence Day Across the Nation

LONDON - England - On this sunny spring day, March 29, Brits across the nation are celebrating Brexit Independence day where the shackles of the totalitarian EU superstate have been broken and Britain has gained its sovereign freedom.

Across England and Wales street parties were organised for today, as the bunting fluttered in the gentle spring wind, there were excited cheers as the children were allowed a day off school on this special day of March 29, 2019.

The Royal family were also on display as they held an impromptu appearance on the Buckingham palace veranda much to the delight of the waiting crowds all cheering ‘God Save the Queen’. The flypast of Spitfires was duly appreciated by the cheering crowds.

Prime Minister, Theresa May was solidly vindicated from her previous indiscretions and mistakes by eventually seeing the light that the only real way out of the EU who had treated Britain despicably during the so-called negotiations, was to leave with a Clean Brexit.

Tonight, there will be firework displays across the country, and a massive display has been arranged around the London Eye. Revellers will also be given free drinks, compliments of the British government who will be keeping the £39 billion they would have otherwise thrown away into the budget black hole of the EU.

On the other side of the fence, many Remoaners who are still angry that their beloved soviet super-state, the EU, was rejected by the people, were paraded in front of the crowds through Trafalgar square on a convoy of trucks where they will be taken to Dover and shipped to Romania.

President Trump was immediately on the phone to Downing Street and offered Britain lucrative deals worth trillions of pounds, and many other countries were jostling for their place to trade with the UK. Britain stands to make a whopping £180 billion within the first two years of sovereign independence from the EU prison it has languished in for over forty years.

Fishermen across the country took to the sea to fish in grounds which were previously prohibited despite being in British waters. They were flanked by the Royal navy who protected them from the angry French fishermen who threatened violence. For years, UK fishermen have had to deal with EU quotas where the French and other EU fishermen effectively steal British fish. This will not happen again.

Construction has already begun on thirty new NHS hospitals across the country, and schools have seen immediate budget increases.

Once again Britain can make its own laws, and enjoy true parliamentary sovereignty. Businesses also cheered as British independence has opened up trade in the globe, which was once restricted by EU regulations.

Here is to a great future for a Great Britain. Huzzah!

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »