Labour MP Diane Abbott Disciplined By Plantation Owner

LONDON - England - MP Diane Abbott has been threatened with dismissal back to the cabbage fields if she speaks out again against her masters.

“She better not step out of line again or we will turf her out into the fields to work with the other negros. We let her stay in the house but recently she has been displaying rather insubordinate, impudent, behaviour not befitting her place. We’re even thinking of shipping her back to Jamiaca in one of those special ships if she gets any worse,” chief whip master, Ed Miliband told Sky News.

There is always a danger of rebellion amongst the servants and they have to be routinely disciplined by the plantation masters.

“We certainly can’t have people like Diane Abbott going around answering back to us. She needs to keep her place, and if she does answer back or make any such remarks not befitting her status in the house, she will be unduly removed from her position and despatched either back to where she was first appropriated or put to work in the fields where the lesser of her kind are made to work to death,” the plantation owner said on Sunday.