17.7 C
London
Wednesday, May 29, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldMichelle Obama Throws Punches Over New Air Jordans

Michelle Obama Throws Punches Over New Air Jordans

PINEVILLE - USA - Before jetting off on a taxpayer funded $5 million 17 day Christmas vacation, Mrs Obama stopped off to get some high demand sneakers and got into a pre-Christmas brawl.

“I told the Air Force One jet to take a detour and Barack was forced to agree with my wishes. I needs to gets me some of those Air Jordans. I went over to the sto’ and I said ‘Gibs me’ those shoes when a big ol’ mutha tried to take them shoes from my grip. Let’s just say hell hath no fury for a first lady scorned. I nailed that bitch into the middle o’ next week…and then some,” Mrs Obama told the North Carolina Herald newspaper.

The disturbance started inside Carolina Place Mall just after 7am when the Obama entourage arrived.

Witnesses said forty five SUVs and a helicopter arrived at the mall as officials opened the mall doors, crowds of people pushed their way in including Mrs Obama and some secret service men.

“Michelle almost took the door off the hinges. I heard her hollerin’ tellin’ the secret service boys to get as many Air Jordan’s as possible while she bagged four pairs herself,” one shopper who didn’t want to be identified said, “there were women with babies in their hands and they on their backs. Michelle didn’t care though, she said she was putting herself number one fo’ a change.”

Michelle Obama, is known for her love of shoes and is not averse to spending $4,000 on a pair of flip flops even though the U.S. is currently battling a debt of 114.5 Trillion Dollars, she has already spent $17 million on holidays this year alone.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »