17.7 C
Saturday, June 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldBritish Gastronomy Stays AAA When French Food Now AA

British Gastronomy Stays AAA When French Food Now AA

LONDON - England - The French were spitting mad yesterday when their entire gourmet cuisine was downgraded to AA from a previous high of AAA, by the International Gastronomy Institute in Lyons, France.

Malheureusement, we have had to downgrade the cuisine de notre compatriats to AA because frankly nous sommes malades of the same old frog’s legs and escargots. I had a piffling raw steak l’autre jour and I vomited into a bucket afterwards. We call that cuisine Française? Give me roast beef, crispy pommes de terre and some f*cking gravy any day. How’s about a bit of oeufs and frites or a full English? I know I’m a grenouille myself but I can’t take the oeufs au plat Meyerbeer anymore, how’s about a deep fried mars bar stuffed in a Heston Blumenthal nettle soup marinated with raw unwashed potato skins and a dose of food poisoning. ‘Ere I was on that Master Chef the other day, who’s that brick layer barrow boy? He told me my soufflé was weak, I told him to go and lay some bricks on a wall, the f*cking English peasant. But, at the end of the jour, mes amis, c’est une grande tragédie,” Senior Chef at the Institute, Dominique Strauss Sperme, told Le Monde newspaper.

The French have been so angry at their cuisine being downgraded that they have threatened to blockade the Channel Tunnel and ferry ports indefinitely until their AAA gourmet rating is reinstated.

Speaking from Paris, the French president, Nicolas Sarkozy, said: “We will ask the Germans to invade England and show them that we mean business. Soon the English cochons will be begging for mercy and they will give up their false AAA food rating. I am going to phone my boss, Angela, right now, you English have eaten your last Bubble and Squeak.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »