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Tech Startup Designs Digital Glasses For Rich People to Edit Out the Poor

PARIS - France - Revolutionary tech startup eFFACER has designed glasses that edit out poor people and their surroundings. The glasses will only be accessible to the rich.

There’s nothing worse for rich people who have to sometimes pass through areas of a city or countryside only to be confronted with unsightly poor people going about their business or rioting in the streets.

Seeing an opening in the high end luxury market, a tech company from Paris, France has come up with digital eyewear that simply edits out undesirables and the Untermensch as well as ugly poverty ridden surroundings.

“Why see slums when you can look across Lake Geneva?” is the catchy tagline for the digital glasses.

“The user specifies what sort of people that the digital AI system will edit out, and through face and gait recognition as well as what type of clothes the person you are looking at is wearing, the system will simply erase them from your view so as not to add offence to your sensibilities. Whether it is the crack addled street scum, welfare recipients, ethnics, tramps, migrants, gypsies or working class people, you will never have to look upon them ever again,” Pierre Martineaux, startup CEO, for eFFACER revealed on Wednesday.

The glasses are so sophisticated that they even have sensitive smell sensors embedded on the frame, and can can detect a poor person from over 100 yards.

“Poor people have a certain smell, and it’s certainly not Givenchy or Pierre Cardin. This is the first line of defence. Then the image of the person is run across an extensive database, and erased before the wearer notices. Our sophisticated database engine also recognises whether the image is a rich person dressing down, for example ‘shabby chic’ a la pop starlets and actors. These people are not erased from view, because they may be simply champagne socialist celebrities and such,” Martineaux added.

The company is so confident of their product that they recently tested the glasses at a Gilets Jaunes violent protest.

“I approached the Champs Elysees and I could hear some faint activity, rocks, shouting and sirens through my headphones but nothing bothersome. The glasses however edited out every single person from the riot as they were successfully identified as poor people. All I could see was the boulevard on a warm Parisian summer’s day. It was truly amazing, because I had my headphones on as well and was listening to some delightful adagios from Mozart, so the experience was not unsettling at all,” project engineer, Eric Dugasse revealed. Unfortunately, he was later hit on the head with a pavement stone during the exercise and now has permanent brain damage.

Despite small setbacks, the company still plans to go ahead with the first phase of production.

The glasses will not come cheap either, as they will only be accessible to the market they are aimed at — the super rich. They will retail at a yearly subscription price of 1.4 million euros.

The reasoning behind the subscription model is that the tech is constantly updated, which works to the advantage of the wearer as well as funding further research into the product.

“Why upset your day by seeing offensive things like poor people and migrants? We are also designing a new machine learning system that not only edits out poor people and other undesirables, but replaces them with AI depictions of rich people as designated by the wearer. This is not only revolutionary, but will ensure that the rich are not tortured daily by the crass vulgar displays of poverty that are so prevalent in this day and age.”

Endorsements for the product have already come in from high, French President Emmanuel Macron has ordered a pair, as has EU President, Jean Claude Juncker. All members of the European Commission will be given complementary pairs funded by EU taxpayers of course.

 

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