Eurozone Ministers to Discuss How to Prolong Eurozone Turmoil

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Eurozone ministers were locked in meetings all of yesterday and today discussing how to prolong the nightmare eurozone disaster.

“If we can prolong the eurozone holocaust for another ten or twenty years so that the whole world will fall into a massive depression, that would be friggin’ great,” Raus Ratzinger, an unelected eurozone technocrat told German Bild magazine.

As the EU nightmare intensifies, ministers want to increase the pressure so that the unbearable debt burden escalates to such levels that there is a massive implosion shattering all hope of rescue.

“This is our plan. We want to create so much fear, so much pain amongst the people of the EU and the world that they accept anything we throw at them,” another faceless unelected EU official said.