17.7 C
Monday, February 26, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorld#MeToo Movement Condemns Sexism in Animal Kingdom

#MeToo Movement Condemns Sexism in Animal Kingdom

LOS ANGELES - USA -The #MeToo movement which detests all male masculinity and every form of sex, is moving onto the animal kingdom where male sexism is rife.

buy squib book

As much as the #MeToo mob has condemned every form of sexual behaviour by human males as rape, it has now turned its eye onto the animal kingdom and wants to change things there as well.

“It is not enough power for us that we can make an allegation after thirty or forty years and ruin a man’s life from some unsubstantiated made-up statement that can never be legally proven, because we know, women never lie, and men are all rapists to be condemned to live the rest of their sorry lives as social pariahs and lepers,” former ‘comedienne’, Amy Schumer, told MSNBC on Friday.

“#MeToo women do not only detest human males and their toxic masculinity, we also hate the animal kingdom’s males. Did you know that those cute fish y’all love called dolphins display disgusting male sexist behaviour? It’s disgusting and we have to stop it. I was speaking to a oceanologist and she told me that it is common practice for young male dolphins to work as a team to separate single female dolphins from their group, take her to a secluded area, and take turns mating with her.”

#MeToo activists are now planning to police the waters of the Pacific ocean by patrolling schools of dolphins and if they see that kind of behaviour, will immediately intervene to push the males away and some even advocate a form of punishment towards male dolphins.

It’s not just male dolphins that have received the wrath of #MeToo activists, the Bonobo Chimpanzee male displays deeply disturbing sexist traits that have made activists very angry.

“We heard that these male Bonobo chimps, they have orgies, this is where they pick any female in the group excluding the alpha female and have sex with them. The female chimps are all submissive and cannot say no, they just fall in line and enjoy the fun. This is one of the most disgusting forms of sexism we have ever heard of. We want to conduct an expedition to the Congo next year where we will intervene and stop this practice if we ever witness it.”

However, during the conversation, no one seemed to mention that the male Praying Mantis, shortly after mating with the female, is summarily eaten to provide nutrition for the gestating fertilised eggs or the Latrodectus mactans, i.e. Black Widow female spider usually cannibalises her male mate after he fertilises her eggs.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »