U.S. Flash Mob Robbery Trend Set to Cross Atlantic

FLORIDA - USA - A new trend sweeping America is now set to cross the Atlantic to Britain, crime analysts have revealed.

Flash mob robberies, also dubbed as ‘flash robs’ are so frequent in America now that no one even bats an eyelid when they happen.

A flash mob robbery occurs when a group of teenagers bundle into a shop or business, then clean the shelves of goods and promptly walk out. Because of the numbers of people involved, there is nothing anyone can do unless they want to get severely injured or killed.

Nothing’s shocking

“The fear is that if it takes off in the UK, no one is allowed guns to protect themselves. If they’re scared to use firearms in America against the flash robbery mobs, what do you think will happen over here? What are you going to do, go up to the mob and ask them nicely to put the beer cans down? You must be kidding mate. Plus the unarmed British police won’t bother turning up either, they’re actually more scared than the public when it comes to flash mob robberies,” a worried shopkeeper from Shepherds Bush, West London told the BBC.

Flash mob robberies are now a common occurrence in the U.S.

Crime experts think that flash mob robberies can take off in the UK mainly because of the severe disenchantment of the youth, especially in deprived areas of the country (99% of the UK) where hopelessness and despair are rife.

Britain’s lax laws will also ensure that if in the very unlikely event that any flash mob robbers are ever caught, they would receive the lightest sentence possible if any punishment at all.

“What about that ‘big society’ Cameron’s banging on about? I tell you what, the only big thing he’s going to get is a big f*cking surprise when he looks on the telly and sees all the chavs, hoodies and gangster scallies mobbing the shops. Now that’s what I call a big society,” recently made redundant policeman, Gerald Belter, told the Sun newspaper.

  • john koroloff

    In every US state I am familiar with, a person cannot use deadly force to protect property…only if he can show that his life or that of another is in imminent danger. So, its just stand back and let them take what they want. Plus with unemployment, economic collapse and local law enforcement budget cuts police response times will be either very long or nonexistent. Welcome to the world of Mad Max.

  • Dean
  • jc derwin
  • Nathan

    "especially in deprived areas of the country (99% of the UK) where hopelessness and despair are rife."

    Lost credibility right there. 99% of the country is rife with despair and hopelessness?

    Yep, seems like legit reporting to me.

    Easy way to stop this – have automatic doors that lock in an emergency, and staff areas that cannot be accessed by the public.

  • flash mobs at it again
  • Dona

    This isn't "civil disobedience". It is stealing, theft, robbery, larceny – pick the CRIMINAL term you like best. Looks like these "kids" were never taught that it's wrong to steal, were never taught to respect others, were never taught the value of working to earn what you want.

  • Tony
  • jj Ballard

    i wouldnt mind doing that in an apple store.

  • Al

    All those kids don't even get to eat or buy stuff they want. Why shouldn't they help themselves from these stores. Who is to say they don't deserve a little something from these rich busines raking in money all the time.

    Keep on it dudes…ROCK ON!!!!!! PARTY TIME!!!!

  • Harry Welsh

    You can't prosecute people when they do this because it is so random. Surveillance vids don't work either. If everyone did these robberies, the police would not be able to catch anyone. Brilliant piece of civil disobediance which can easily bring the whole system to its knees. Those black kids are actually pretty clever. kudos.