Bedouins Seen in East Anglia

EAST ANGLIA - England - The driest May in 100 years has forced the Environment Agency (EA) to declare that the majority of eastern England is officially now a desert.

“It’s like Namibia here. We’re now importing camels into the deserted dusty fields, the sun beats down on our heads all day long as we search for water. I’ve heard there is an oasis three days walk from here. We’re going to set off tomorrow morning, but we’re down to our last canteen of water,” Rupert Monkfrith, an ex-swimming instructor from Norwich told the East Anglia Gazette.

All across East Anglia from Norfolk to Cambridge, sand dunes have now formed over the once green pastures.

“As a former farmer I’m learning to adapt. I now herd goats and use camels to traverse the great desert. We pitch our tents when we find some water and a bit of grass, then we move on to the next bit. I’m even considering changing my name to Zayed bin Sultan Al Ajman,” Giles Billingswinkle, told the BBC.