It has been a nightmare 24 hours for Agent Cob (aka Labour MP Jeremy Corbyn).
First he was told that the security forces were on to his double dealing with the Russians, then his own party started to question his soviet orders.
Here is an agent who prided himself in his meticulous espionage techniques of hiding under plain sight, exposed for the whole world to see.
Issuing a statement to the House of Commons, Agent Cob was adamant that he was innocent to all accusations of spying for the Russians.
“I am not a spy. I have not handed secrets or any form of information to the Russians, now or at any time in the past,” Agent Cob said emphatically.
Then someone in the audience coughed loudly whilst uttering the word “Bullshit!”.
It is yet to be seen whether Agent Cob will be expelled back to Russia, as he may abscond and disappear once again into the unknown to continue plotting his return.
MI6 operative, St John Sinclair, (Agent 00x) has other thoughts.
“Agent Cob has been responsible for many leaks that have compromised British national security. If he won’t go back to Russia after being expelled, we’ll just have to get Q branch onto him. They have many contraptions that can delete Agent Cob without even a trace. We are certainly not as messy as our Russian friends when it comes to erasing erroneous assets.”