Eurozone Countries Renamed as Numbered Sectors

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The president of the Eurozone, Herman Van Rompuy, has ordered the countries in Europe be renamed as numbers in order to bring more cohesion to the EU.

“Germany will be known as sector 1 within the eurozone, then I guess it’s France as sector 2 in order of importance. I guess we can then put Ireland as number 3, then going down the list the PIGS countries of Portugal, Italy, Greece and Spain. Below that we have the minor Eastern European countries. From now on all of these old countries will be known as sectors. Any EU citizen who refers to the sectors with their previous names will be prosecuted and sent to an EU re-education camp,” EU president in sector 2a (previously Belgium), Herman Van Rompuy told Le Figaro.

The new EU directive was announced on Thursday evening and was implemented by the Friday.

All EU countries have also been ordered to erase any references to their previous country names in all school text books, library books and any form of literature.