“I’m a liar. I hate people, especially the English. I lied. Don’t believe another word I say. You over there in the corner, don’t believe me, I lied to you all. I’m such a liar I don’t believe myself anymore,” the unelected PM shouted over the podium as the audience of twenty Labour supporters looked on in abject terror at the bonkers display.
During the speech, Mr Brown started shouting at himself and slapping his knees. Labour security personnel then moved in to remove him from the venue.
“We were instructed to remove hecklers from the venue, and Mr Brown was heckling his own speech. Everyone knows he’s a liar and has ruined this country, and it seems he’s finally stopped denying it too. At least he’s got a conscience though, not something that can be said about Blair,” chief of security, Harvey Bonzer, told the Sun.
After being ejected from his own speech, Mr Brown was given some heavy horse sedatives and moved to his bunker deep underneath Downing Street.