Riots in Greece as Greek Workforce Told to Work

ATHENS - Greece - There were prolonged riots in Greece lasting for over a week, after the Greek prime minister ordered in new 'austerity plans' to try and claw back some of the enormous debts owed by the country's huge budget deficit.

“The government told us that we have to work instead of just receiving large amounts of money from the EU coffers. Who the f*ck do they think they are? Work? They must be out of their minds!” Alixios Workshyos told the Greek national paper Sleepios.

The Greeks are also angry that their retirement ages may have to be increased by one year to the age of 45. In stark contrast, German workers retire at the age of 67 and have to go to their jobs every day of the week.

“I’ve never seen riots like this in Greece. Some Greek dustmen just pulled a police man’s arms off and proceeded to beat him over the head with them over there, can you see? It’s really quite bad. You can’t walk to the shops without stepping over rioting bodies,” Stavros Slothfulios told the Greek national news station, Indolentos TV.

More rioting is due for next week when Greek ministers unveil further austerity measures, like increasing the working hours to end at maybe 2 pm. This would mean that the Greeks would have to have their 4 hour siesta after work thus not getting paid for the hours.