“We’ve got a
regular production line here training up British Islamic shoe and
syringe bombers to go over to America for some postgraduate work
experience,” Professor Albert Hucklestone, who heads up the School for
Shoe Bombing at University College Kensington.
It has been a
bumper year for shoe bombers graduating from London universities thanks
to the Labour government’s lax immigration policies positively encouraging the influx of Jihadists into the UK from all
over the world.
“Thanks to Gordon Brown’s government, our
university course has never been so full. We’ve got Shoe Bombers coming
out of our socks,” the Dean of London’s premier Shoe Bomber campus,
Wood Green University in North London told the BBC.
Bomber course is renowned throughout the world for its attention to
detail and intricate instruction.This is why America, Land of the Great
Satan, chooses only to import the finest shoe bombers from the UK. The
four year course leads to a B.Sc qualification that is renowned in the
Middle East as well as the US.
“We wear only the best shoes,
like Bally, John Lobb and Berluti. Anywhere else in the world, shoe
bombers wear mediocre cheap plastic shoes, once you study in London
though you only wear the best. I myself like to wear platform shoes
from the seventies because you can pack a lot more gunpowder in the
heel plus I’m only 4′ 3,” Abdul bin Mahmoud Asshoe, a UCK graduate who
gained his degree in June this year said.
Because of the frequency of the British bombers, Pan Am flight
attendants on trans-Atlantic flights are now designating that Syringe
Bombers sit on the left side and Shoe Bombers on the right side of the
aircraft so as not to sow any seeds of confusion during each flight.