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Tuesday, May 17, 2022
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Hated Heather Mills to Settle in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - After winning a record £55 million from chump, Sir Paul McCartney, ex-glamour model, Heather Mills and the most hated person in the world. Lady Mucca, is to escape Britain and live in Baghdad.

British Teens to be Cautioned for First Time Murder Offences

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new Labour laws to reduce violent crime in the British Isles. The breakthrough laws will also reduce police paperwork and increase efficiency within the law and enforcement sectors.

NHS Unveils New Fleet of Ambulances

LONDON - England - The cash-strapped National Health Service (NHS) today unveiled its latest solution.

Victoria Beckham : I Split Spice Girls

LOS ANGELES - CA - Victoria Beckham has revealed she was the reason the Spice Girls' suddenly split— because she plans to quit her singing career for good.

Comrade Gordon Brown Unveils New Fifty Pence Coin

LONDON - England - Our Supreme Unelected Comrade and leader Gordon Brown has unveiled the design for the new fifty pence coin.

Which Extreme Weight-loss Methods Really Work?

LONDON - England - Size Zero model Anna Schwarz is commissioned by Channel 4 to complete a series of extreme weight-loss methods. How will she manage over the next eight weeks?

Leslie Ash Gets Big Smile on Her Face

LONDON - England - The actress Leslie Ash had a big smile on her face today after being awarded £5 million of taxpayers money from the NHS.

London Voted Best World City for Quality of Life

LONDON - England - Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor and Gordon Brown, Prime Minister have commissioned a think tank to conduct a study on London's high standing world status.

Unfit Britons to Lose NHS Care

LONDON - England - Comrade Brown, who as our unelected superhuman super-fit Commander in Chief, brought forth more orders for his five year vision of change plan today.

Rottweiler Attacks Down for December

SCUNTHORPE - England - Statistics for the month of December suggest an easing off of Rottweiler attacks on the Chav populations in England and Wales.

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