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Tuesday, May 17, 2022
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George W Bush Hails Successful US Defeat in Iraq

WASHINGTON DC - USA - George W Bush has hailed the US defeat in Iraq as an unbridled success with the same "Mission Accomplished" mantra he uttered once before.

Shock as Politician Linked to Prostitution

NEW YORK - USA - There was surprise amongst the population when a US Governor was implicated in a prostitution ring.

US Marine Wins Annual Iraqi Puppy Toss Contest

SAMARRA - Iraq - A US Marine was today honoured for his puppy tossing skills in the yearly competition held in Samarra.

Councils to Introduce Walking Tripod CCTV Cameras

LONDON - England - The Labour government is introducing a pilot Mobile CCTV Tripod Surveillance scheme in Tower Hamlets Council next month. The new scheme, according to Labour ministers, will help to reduce crime and is touted to be introduced nationally by 2009.

President Bush Urges Cuba Toward ‘Blessings of Liberty’

GUANTANAMO BAY - Cuba - George W Bush has urged the Cuban people to embrace freedom and democracy after the resignation of Communist leader Fidel Castro.

British Teens to be Cautioned for First Time Murder Offences

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has announced new Labour laws to reduce violent crime in the British Isles. The breakthrough laws will also reduce police paperwork and increase efficiency within the law and enforcement sectors.

Bush Restrained after Talking to God on Flight to Heathrow

WASHINGTON DC - USA - George W Bush on a Heathrow-bound presidential flight had to be dragged from his presidential chair and handcuffed after suffering an apparent mental breakdown in mid-air, it emerged yesterday.

London Voted Best World City for Quality of Life

LONDON - England - Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor and Gordon Brown, Prime Minister have commissioned a think tank to conduct a study on London's high standing world status.

Rottweiler Attacks Down for December

SCUNTHORPE - England - Statistics for the month of December suggest an easing off of Rottweiler attacks on the Chav populations in England and Wales.

Blair Converts to Catholicism

LONDON - England - Tony Blair has caused fresh controversy by converting to Roman Catholicism less than six months after leaving office.

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