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Tag: crime

New Extreme Sport: Waterboarding Increasing in Popularity

WASHINGTON DC - A new craze has taken America by storm and is sweeping the extreme sports world off its feet.

Disks Containing 25 Million Personal Records Found

LONDON - England - The disks containing the valuable information of 25 million child-benefit recipients was found today in a London High Street.

George W Bush Secures Six-Figure Book Deal

WASHINGTON DC - George W Bush has secured a huge six-figure publishing deal to write a book after he leaves office in 2009.

US Meets Mass Killing Targets in Iraq

Washington DC - Vice President Cheney and George W Bush were rejoicing today after meeting the mass killing targets of Iraqi civilians set in 2003.

Labour Government to Ban Guns in UK

LONDON - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith today announced a new law to ban dangerous handguns and machine guns in the UK.

OJ Simpson to Perform Prison Puppet Shows for Inmates

LAS VEGAS - Nevada - OJ Simpson is in training for his forthcoming prison puppet show tour.

Bush to Invade Burma

WASHINGTON DC - WAR ON TERROR LATEST - George W Bush is consulting Halliburton on Burmese oil and gas reserves as well as precise extraction logistics.

15 Yr Old Boy Awarded ASBO For AK-47 Shooting Skills

MANCHESTER - England - Home Secretary Jacqui Smith today awarded a fifteen year old boy an ASBO in recognition for his shooting skills on the public rail system.

Thugs and Hoodies Terrified of Receiving ABC from Jacqui Smith MP

LONDON - England - The length and breadth of thug Britain is quivering in fear as terrified hoodie gangsters armed to the teeth are coming to terms with the prospect of receiving an Acceptable Behaviour Contract (ABC) from Jacqui Smith MP.

Stabbings Down From June

LONDON - England - Stabbings are set to fall in July because of new Police initiatives to actively fight crime.

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