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Pistorius Shooting Spree Kills 23 After Prison Release

PRETORIA - South Africa - Oscar Pistorius, the jailed former athlete, enjoyed an impromptu shooting spree on Monday soon after his jail release.

Obama Wants More Gay Saunas in Africa

NAIROBI - Kenya - Starving Africans in extreme poverty have other things on their minds today, like how to be more gay and what cock ring to wear in a gay sauna, thanks to president Barack Obama.

Nigerian Restaurant Review

ANAMBRA - Nigeria - Our resident restaurant critic, Herman Van Helsing, dined at the world famous -10 Star un-Michelin rated Nigerian restaurant and posts his valued opinion on the culinary delights available.

Congratulations to Robert Mugabe For Getting 140% of Votes

HARARE - Zimbabwe - It was another landslide win for Mugabe's Zanu-PF party today, with an incredible 140% of votes.

Neckless Giraffes Found in Serengeti

SERENGETI - Tanzania - Neckless giraffes have been found in the Serengeti National Park for the first time say zoologists.

Could This Be Nelson Mandela’s Worst Nightmare?

JOHANNESBURG - South Africa - Is there Apartheid in heaven? Will Mr Mandela see P.W. Botha on the steps up to heaven or a fearful sign telling him to make his way down because he's black? It is a nightmarish thought for the poor chap that has probably crossed his mind at some time.

EDL Trip to Africa Cancelled This Year

SCUNTHORPE - England - This year's educational trip to Africa for members of the English Defence League, has been cancelled at short notice due to unforeseen circumstances a spokesman for the fascist organisation revealed today.

World Governments Concede They Do Not Actually Own Anything

LONDON - England - A consortium of world governments which met in the capital this morning have revealed they have no right to claim ownership over anything on planet earth.

Hercule Poirot Investigates Pistorius

PRETORIA - South Africa - The indomitable French detective, Hercule Poirot has flown to the African country to try and solve the rather sticky Pistorius case on everyone's lips at the moment.

Mali Gold Mines Safe For Now French Army Says

BAMAKO - Mali - French commanders have breathed a collective sigh of relief at saving the country's gold mines from any Al Qaida terrorists.

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