Waterboarding to be Introduced For Olympics

LONDON - England - With weighty endorsements from the likes of George W Bush, Dick Cheney and Tony Blair, the new waterboarding sport is set to become an Olympics favourite, the IOC has declared.

Jacques Rogge, the president of the International Olympics Committee has revealed plans to include the new waterboarding sport into the games, which will be held in London, England in 2012.

“In an age of terror and torture, why not include this wonderful endurance sport into the roster of established sports? It is a sign of our times, a symbol of where our civilisation has got to. The Olympics should be for everyone, even the tortured.”

IOC officials have already outlined the rules of the new sport and will hold a small waterboarding presentation next week at Stratford’s main athletic venue.

“If the athlete can survive for more than three minutes without choking to death, then that’s a gold medal. Obviously, in this sport, getting the silver or bronze medal is a serious downer because the participants are probably dead,” John Suffkate, the IOC’s sport development officer told the BBC.