17.7 C
London
Saturday, April 11, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 491

Emergency Measures: UK Will Exit EU Fast – No 10 Year Lies

Les Horreuer
-
0
Emergency Measures: UK Will Exit EU Fast – No 10 Year Lies

There will be no ten years as espoused by the scaremongering Irish Project Fear member Gus O’Donnell.

O’Donell’s assertions are completely false and have no basis in reality. In fact, there would be minimal negotiations needed to exit the EU.

The Out vote will be final, there will be no countermeasures allowed by any nefarious faction with regards to red-tape as it will all be null and void.

In an emergency state, Britain is not party to Brussels red tape and should withdraw as quickly as possible, even without triggering article 50 (The Lisbon Treaty).

We must treat this as a matter of great urgency, as these are emergency conditions, akin to a war footing. Ignoring treaties should be considered as Britain regains it sovereignty.

Whoever forms the new government will thus need to involve ministers who are experienced in matters of emergency and war.

Once again, do not listen to the voices of doom that emanate from Project Fear, there will be no ten years, as Britain will be a sovereign state once again and will utilise its regained powers to extricate itself from the octopus tentacles of the EU.

 

EU Referendum: Project Fear Using Same Tactics as ISIS

Les Horreuer
-
0

Speaking in Brussels, unelected EU eurocrats have told agencies involved in the Project Fear push that more terror and fearful information must be pushed onto the British public because they weren’t terrified enough.

“I want to see the British swine running down their dirty streets screaming in terror at the thought of Britain leaving the EU,” Hans Junger, an EU official shouted during a briefing.

The incessant fearful headlines and propaganda videos being churned out by the EU seem to be having some effect on people in Britain.

“When I see anything like that, I roll my eyes, then simply switch whatever I’ve been watching off. If I am in public and something comes within my vicinity spouting pro-EU fearmongering I simply walk away. It’s really quite easy to dodge. Block on twitter is also a very useful tool. I don’t watch the BBC either, so I avoid most of the scaremongering bollocks,” a man at a bus stop told no one in particular.

Project Fear: Comrade Cameron Preparing For Un-democratic EU Referendum

Les Horreuer
-
1
Project Fear: Comrade Cameron Preparing For Un-democratic EU Referendum

Hello comrades. I have been preparing for the undemocratic EU Referendum where there will only be one answer accepted in the vote.

I have been reminiscing at my dacha in Lanzarote where I have formulated even more effective techniques of propaganda to fool the British people.

Our great Soviet dream to enslave the people of Britain is working fine, however I have ordered the politburo and Stasi to upgrade efforts in indoctrination on Twitter and other controlled state media apparatuses.

In my time of reminiscence, I have had time to collect my thoughts and create a war plan that will smash the enemy. These lickspittle swine who want democracy and freedom are abhorrent pigs and they will be crushed without mercy.

COMRADE CAMERON WHITE

Project Fear

On the day of the referendum I will instruct all commissars to present themselves at poll booths and bully voters into voting to stay in the EUSSR.

If the democracy lovers disobey my orders, they will be rooted out, and at a later date either put into re-education camps or shot like the dogs they are.

We of course have a fail safe mechanism, all ballots will be manned by our operatives and if they spy an Out vote, they will quietly put this in a bin or mark it as unusable.

If that method fails, (highly unlikely) the EUSSR will not acknowledge the vote and dismiss it as a false result.

Comrades, Remain voters, apparatchiks, fellow commissars of the British Soviet EU State, I am pleased with your dedication to the Soviet principles of the undemocratic EU.

Our unelected leaders in the collectivised EU are waiting for an answer and we shall give it to them one way or another.

Diktat 6543-2 : Increased chocolate rations of 2.8 grams for Sektor 101 have been approved by Supreme Supreme Comrade Merkel.

comrade cameron red640

Vote Leave: Out of Touch Nicky Morgan Wrong About Jobs

Les Horreuer
-
0
Vote Leave: Out of Touch Nicky Morgan Wrong About Jobs

 

 

With further scaremongering from the offices of Project Fear, we now have the lies and put-downs coming from Nicky Morgan, the Education Secretary.

Many in the UK have to deal with Zero Hour contracts, and are stifled with low wages; the EU has not been good for young people and employment.

What about the unemployment rate in many European countries? EU countries on the continent are hampered by a large number of unemployed youth, where Greece leads the table at 25% of the population.

Britain sends the EU £350 million per week, with little return. The UK could use this money to rebuild its troubled over subscribed services like the NHS and schools. We could build a new hospital for £350 million per week, or create new jobs and opportunities for young people in Britain.

It is highly irregular that Nicky Morgan has unjustly chosen to spread more lies and fear regarding jobs and Brexit.

Let us think of this generation and the ones to come, for their sake we must leave the EU and rebuild Britain.

 

The Secretary of State is wrong to claim that there has been a drop in job vacancies because of uncertainty. Official statistics show job vacancies are increasing, not falling due to ’employers’ fears of Brexit’.

 

  • According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), ‘There were 768,000 job vacancies for the 3 months to February 2016. This was: 10,000 more than for September to November 2015 [and] 26,000 more than for a year earlier’.
  • The Secretary of State does not cite official statistics, but a survey from a private company based on limited data.
  • The OBR has explicitly stated that there is no sign of uncertainty in the run-up to the referendum: ‘There were only tentative signs of uncertainty regarding the EU referendum result affecting investment intentions by the time we closed this forecast and we have made no adjustment to reflect a change in behaviour’.

 

The CBI research cited by the Education Secretary shows jobs will increase if we Vote Leave.

 

  • The Education cites research by the CBI in her speech. This report actually shows that 3 million jobs will be created if we Vote Leave and that growth will be stronger if the UK strikes a free trade agreement with the EU between 2021 and 2030 than if it remains in the EU.
  • The other research cited by the Education Secretary by the LSE is from an EU-funded body.

 

The Head of the BSE campaign, which the Education Secretary supports, has admitted wages will rise if we take back control. This will be good for young people.

 

  • During a recent Treasury Select Committee hearing, the Chairman of the Britain Stronger in Europe (BSE) Campaign, Lord Rose of Monewden was asked by Wes Streeting MP: ‘if free movement were to end following Brexit, is it not reasonable to suppose that we could see increases in wages for low-skilled workers in the UK? Lord Rose said: ‘If you’re short of labour, the price of labour would go up. So Yes. But that’s not necessarily a good thing’.

 

The Education Secretary claims we need to be in the EU for ‘internationalism’. There is nothing internationalist about the job-destroying single currency or the EU’s trade policy.

 

  • Unemployment in the Eurozone is 10.3%. In Greece, the unemployment rate is 24.0%. In Spain, it is 20.5%.
  • Youth unemployment in the Eurozone is 22.0%. It is 48.9% in Greece and 45.0% in Spain.
  • EU agricultural policies harm the third world. The EU-funded Centre for European Reform admits that: ‘EU policies, particularly those on trade, agriculture and fisheries, continue to harm poor countries‘, including ‘tariffs and quotas which discourage or exclude produce from developing countries’.

 

Nicky Morgan is hopelessly out of touch with young people.

 

  • Nicky Morgan will claim in her speech ‘This is the generation of… Ebay.’ Ebay was founded 21 years ago in 1995. She’s at least one generation out.

U.S. Election: Dirty Evangelical Players Trump and Cruz Stoop Lower Every Day

Les Horreuer
-
1
U.S. Election: Dirty Evangelical Players Trump and Cruz Stoop Lower Every Day

 

“Not only does this man have a money hungry Eastern European escort for a wife, but he has now embroiled stalwart Christian evangelist Ted Cruz in a five woman clandestine affair thanks to Trump’s tabloid dealings with the National Enquirer. It is hard to say at the moment who is coming off worse within this mud slinging match, but Trump is the current leader,” a shocked Capitol Hill commentator revealed on Friday.

For election observers, the low blows, the dirty play, and pig pen politics of Donald Trump reveal much about the man’s uncouth character; a man who will stab wildly in the dark until he hits anything, a man who has no qualms about dragging parties through his own faeces ridden mud.

Both Cruz and Trump are obnoxious liars, men who would gladly throw their wives or newborn babies into the firing line to save their own skin, and it is this profound hypocrisy that is so amusing to watch, they are supposedly appealing to the right wing extremist Christian Americans who as a group are the lowest level of humanity, rife with duplicitous intent, corrupt beyond belief and evangelical brainwashed monstrosities conducting immoralities and depraved acts behind the scenes whilst pleading penance in public to their imaginary god.

Both men are brow-beaten greedy lowlife scum, both are guilty of crimes that are beyond the pale and both are representatives of the people that support them.

Experts: Globalism Will Not Suffer With Brexit

Les Horreuer
-
0
Experts: Globalism Will Not Suffer With Brexit

A team of experts at the Globalist Bilderberger Research Facility in Rotterdam, Netherlands has revealed in a new paper that Brexit would not hamper plans for globalism and should be allowed to continue without fear.

“Our lower orders are worried about Brexit, however analysis and projections of financial data reveal that Britain leaving the EU would not hinder plans for globalism or business efficacy at all.

“The numerous benefits of Brexit are too long to list in this brief report, however the main benefit is that the United Kingdom would increase its global outlook by leaving the restrictive EU. We want entities to look outward and not inward. The EU is halting British business in seeking further trade deals elsewhere and only limiting it to European interests. This is not good for globalism.

“Globalism should not mean unfettered migration but controlled migration should be adopted by the advanced industrialised nations. We seek to increase the quality of selected areas population and to do this, it is better that the UK leaves the EU. This way, Britain can conduct a more efficient drive towards global trade with quality as opposed to one of hampered quantity.

“Our operatives in all geographic areas and zones must work towards a homogeneous global entity yet retaining individual sectors for the highly technological industrialised nations. Britain is such an area, and we want it to increase its reach further globally, and to lead from the top.

“To this end, it is in the interests of globalism that we support fully a Brexit and a demotion of the European Union to a lower status. Unfortunately, the EU is hampering globalism with its insular, backward technique and unless changes are made soon, it will be ordered to disassemble its operations.”

Are You Ready For Holiday Season Schengen Death Lottery?

Les Horreuer
-
0

 

The attack at the check-in lounge at Brussels airport is an indication, not only of lax security, but of the determination of terrorists to maim and kill as many people as they possibly can.

You and your family may be at a check-in desk when another nail bomb goes off. There are no security checks before check-in, and anyone can pretend to be a traveller.

The Schengen zone is a direct route from war zones like Syria to any destination in Europe. There are little or no checks on papers or passports once within the EU’s Schengen zone therefore Jihadists, bombs and military grade weapons are easily transported to attack zones.

Is the UK safe because it is out of the Schengen? No, because any citizen of the EU (742 million people) is allowed access to the UK without question.

According to intelligence agencies, there are approximately 4,000 highly trained ISIS operatives waiting to attack within the EU, and this means if you are a frequent traveller, you will eventually come into contact with one of these terrorists at some time.

European travel is now a dangerous lottery, where a sudden flash is all it takes before your life is either snuffed out within a millisecond or you see your limbs fly across the room as the nails shoot across space at high speed.

You are excited to be on holiday, you do not notice anything as the man next to you pushes his trolley full of explosives and shards of metal. The last thing you hear are the words ‘Allahu Akbar’ (God is Great)…and then nothingness…eternal nothingness.

Brexit: Why Leaving EU Means Increased Security

Les Horreuer
-
0
Brexit: Why Leaving EU Means Increased Security

 

Sir Richard Dearlove, a respected ex-MI6 chief has also refuted the Remain Campaign’s assertions of EU safety.

“Britain’s borders could be strengthened in the event of a Brexit and extremists could be more easily deported.”

One may argue that home grown terror is a large part of the problem, but without leaving the EU, the UK is almost powerless to deal with Jihadis in the UK hiding behind EU human rights legislation.

Dearlove’s intervention, which contradicts claims from the Prime Minister and the Home Secretary that EU membership makes Britain safer, has come at an opportune moment bolstering the justification for Brexit.

The EU needs GCHQ more, with its incredible intelligence capabilities. In the event of a Brexit, it is hard to think the EU could do without its expertise.

There is therefore no doubt that Britain with properly secured borders, the ability to deport dangerous criminals and terrorists would be safer.

Vote Leave FACTS: Energy Risks Increase by Staying In EU

Les Horreuer
-
0
Vote Leave FACTS: Energy Risks Increase by Staying In EU

The Secretary of State for Energy and Climate Change, Amber Rudd MP’s false claims that Brexit Britain ‘faces an “electric shock” costing consumers at least £500m a year if it leaves the EU’ is a blatant scaremongering falsity that should be dismissed as a lie.

The fact is that it is the EU itself that pushes up energy prices.

Here are the FACTS about how voting to Leave the EU would be beneficial for British energy:

Energy prices would not rise if we Vote Leave. EU regulation forces up energy prices.

 

  • The European Commission has admitted: ‘Energy costs [are] to rise in all scenarios’. There is no evidence that the ‘single market’ will reduce prices.

  • End-user gas prices are now nearly twice as high in the UK than in the US.

  • Between 2005 and 2011, ‘EU manufacturing saw the highest increase in energy costs‘ relative to the US, China and Japan.

  • According to the former European Commission President Jose Barroso, between 2005 and 2012 the gas price for European industry increased by 35 per cent and the electricity price increased by 38 per cent. In the US, by contrast, gas prices fell by 66 per cent and electricity prices fell by 4 per cent.

  • EU energy regulation will cost the UK economy between £86.6bn and £93.2bn.

 

The UK is not at risk from Putin’s Russia if we Vote Leave. The UK is one of the most energy self-sufficient countries in Europe.

 

  • The UK does not depend on the EU (or Russia) for energy imports: ‘The main direct source of UK gas imports is direct from Norway. In 2012 55% of the UK’s gas imports came via the pipelines to Norway or connections with the Norwegian gas fields’.

  • The UK is one of the EU countries that is least dependent on Russian gas imports.

  • The UK is 49.5% sufficient in natural gas. Germany is 13.3% self-sufficient. France is 0.7% self-sufficient.

  • Other countries such as Germany, are dangerously dependent on Russian Gas. The Commission acknowledges, ‘Europe’s dependence is set to increase’.

 

National Grid admits that the impact of leaving would be ‘minimal’ in the short-term. The UK could adapt.

 

  • The National Grid presentation states: ‘The risks for gas as a result of Brexit are minimal in the nearer term’ and acknowledges that the ‘UK government could minimise risks of Brexit’. It notes that key aspects would be ‘cheap to mitigate’.

  • The National Grid clearly states that: ‘We are not advocating to leave or remain in the EU’.

  • The Government has admitted that ‘we don’t back legally-binding rules in this area’. Nonetheless, they will not be able to stop the proposals in the event of a vote to remain.

 

The National Grid report inaccurately claims that the UK has ‘influence on EU rules & policies to ensure they are advantageous to the UK.’

 

  • The UK has been outvoted every time it has voted against an EU measure – 72 times in total. 40 of these defeats have taken place since David Cameron became Prime Minister. We have no influence at present.

  • The UK’s ability to control whether or not to build a new nuclear power station at Hinkley Point has been restrained by the need to await approval from the Commission. The Commission’s decision in favour of the scheme is currently the subject of legal challenge in the European Court by Austria.

 

The report claims that interconnectors are less likely if we Vote Leave. There is no evidence for this assertion.

 

  • Germany has just agreed to establish a new interconnector with Norway – which is not in the EU.

 

National Grid spends hundreds of thousands lobbying the Commission.

 

  • In 2014-2015, National Grid spent between €300,000 and €399,999 lobbying the Commission.

  • Between 2007 and 2014 National Grid and group companies received over €3.2m in grants from the European Commission.

 

The real risk to UK energy security comes from EU membership. The Commission has just announced plans to force the UK to share gas with other member states. This could lead to gas rationing for business in the UK.

 

  • In February 2016, the European Commission announced legislative proposals for mandatory sharing of gas between member states.

  • The Commission envisages rationing of gas in the UK in the event of a shortage in other member states: ‘Application of the solidarity principle on the basis of technical and administrative arrangements agreed between Member States will be mandatory. Customers others than households, essential social services and district heating cannot continue to be supplied with gas in a given Member State – even if it is not in an emergency situation – as long as households, essential social services and district heating are not being supplied in another Member State in emergency to which the first country’s transmission network is connected’.

 

The Conservative Party predicted the Commission would take control over energy when it opposed the Lisbon Treaty eight years ago. It is now campaigning for the EU to retain powers over energy.

 

  • During the passage of the Lisbon Treaty, the Conservatives tabled amendments, signed by William Hague and David Lidington, trying to stop the EU gaining control of energy policy.

  • The then Shadow Secretary of State for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform, Alan Duncan, warned that the Treaty’ jeopardises our ability to act independently on energy matters… Our Government have essentially written a blank cheque to Brussels, which could in certain circumstances oblige the United Kingdom, for example, to assist in the building of other member states’ energy infrastructure.’ He also warned that the Treaty ‘mandates the Council to redistribute energy across the bloc during times of crisis. A gas dispute in Bavaria could ultimately lead to gas rationing in Birmingham. If there is an interruption in the supplies from the Gulf, the Commission can override our contracts. It can cut off our supplies from Milford Haven and send them to Ingolstadt, or divert our liquefied natural gas from the Isle of Grain to Novo Mesto’.

 

Leaving the EU would not lead to a reduction in investment.

 

  • Notwithstanding the referendum, China recently announced £30 billion of investment into the UK, including between £5.4bn to £8.2bn in nuclear power. This will continue if we Vote Leave.

 

National Grid admits that the impact of leaving would be ‘minimal’ in the short-term. The UK could adapt.

 

  • The National Grid presentation states: ‘The risks for gas as a result of Brexit are minimal in the nearer term’ and acknowledges that the ‘UK government could minimise risks of Brexit’. It notes that key aspects would be ‘cheap to mitigate’.

  • The National Grid clearly states that: ‘We are not advocating to leave or remain in the EU’.

 

 

 

Your Cartoons, Je Suis’ and Fancy Rallies Do Not Achieve Anything

Les Horreuer
-
0
Your Cartoons, Je Suis’ and Fancy Rallies Do Not Achieve Anything

Closing the Schengen area does not mean closing borders, all it means is that there are border checks so that the free movement of terrorists and weapons from Syria may be halted. It makes common sense.

There need not be some kind of ridiculous Americanized Trump reaction like banning whole swathes of people or closing borders, but border checks is a reasonable request.

The hard truth is that the deaths of the innocent people are on the heads of the weak lilly-livered socialist policy makers of the EU and their communistic ideals of fast mass migration. The blood of innocent commuters spilled on Tuesday drips on the EU leaders who stood by after Paris and did nothing, a shameful disgrace to the people of Europe.

In the UK, the ugly bleating face of Tony Blair rears its hypocritical head every time an atrocity graces the continent. Here is a man who had no qualms about destroying and destabilising vast areas of the Middle East thus creating a power vacuum for ISIS’s creation.

We must address the failure of leadership for your disgraceful policies of apathy and laziness are a direct cause of the events that now occur on a regular basis.

Until the next pathetic Je Suis gathering at whichever city it may be…

1...490491492...814Page 491 of 814
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2026.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH