Michael Jackson to Undergo Surgery to Reverse Whiteness

LOS ANGELES - CA - Michael Jackson, the artist who has undergone major surgery during his lifetime to appear white, is now going to attempt to have the surgery reversed so he can look like a black man again.

In a statement today released through his spokesman, Edmund Rancheros, Michael Jackson has announced that he wants to get “back to black” and will undergo major surgery to try and undo all the surgery he had done after the Thriller album.

Michael Jackson who has been following the Obama campaign very closely has finally admitted to close friends that he is ashamed of what he has done over the years by trying to change his appearance so radically to be white. He has said that he wants to get back to his roots and his blackness to be “black and proud”.

It was after the mega-selling Thriller album that Jackson acquired a penchant for radical cosmetic surgical procedures and buggery of little boys.

The result of many years of major surgery, his face now looks like a piece of chewed mutton or veal and what is left of the cartilage in his nose hangs precariously from the few sinews left.

Renowned Beverly Hills cosmetic surgeon Dr. Joshua Lieber has been chosen for an undisclosed sum to undertake the massive task of restoring Jackson to his former self as a black man.

“I am very honoured to be working with Michael Jackson. I am a great fan of his music as are my children. The operation to restore Mr Jackson’s face to its previous incarnation after the thousands of surgeries he has undergone in the past to get to the horrific level of mess he is in now will be very hard and will take over two years. I am very confident of restoring his face to its former self and will be using ground breaking laser surgery to achieve the goal. Michael’s wish is my command.”

The surgical reversal technique is a heavily guarded secret. However, there are whispers that parts of Jackson’s old face may have been preserved and stored away for many years. Jackson’s original nose and ears as well as eyeballs may have been cryogenically frozen during the eighties in a Santa Barbara facility.

Jackson reportedly is $400 million in debt and it has not been apparent how he will pay for the major restorative surgery. There have been rumours of a planned residency in Las Vegas which would pay for the surgery.

“Michael has this notion that if he looks like he used to look during the Thriller period when he was still a bona fide black man, he can turn back the clocks and restore his fortune and destiny as well,” Edmund Rancheros told Ebony magazine last week.

Michael Jackson was not available personally to make a statement because he was off to Tampa with the kids on holiday.

  • Kittecat

    Are you
    For real! Leave Michael alone! We are all not as perfect as you I guess is your mind set. Cheers to true MJ fans 🙂

  • kerii

    that guy who said if it runs in the family why does it only effect him
    my grandma has diabetes n people before her had it its in the genes it doesnt have to be almost every child it can be cousins or grandchildren and he might have it wore .. they factually found that he had vitiligo n if you look through pictures you can see it

  • Prisclla

    Leave him alone maybe all the media is the blame for his death

  • Fatso

    In an oprah interview in Feb 1993 MJ claimed that his father told him it (vitiligo)was a family thing but how come it only afftected him only, why not other member(s) of his family. How can something that is sed to run in the family affect only one sibling out of nine, ten including the father? The man wanted to run away from his blackiness, he couldnt accept to be rich as a black man! Even the women he married are white: first it was Elves Presley’s daughter then that former nurse who is the mother of his first two kids, moreso the kids are also white! why did not he pay some negro to have his sperm inseminated into his wife. He wanted to be a white man thats why i really did not like him, yah he was a genious (musically) but eishh he despised the man of color!!!!!! at one moment he

  • Bananie

    I dont think that anyone really knows the truth about michael’s past. i think they all go on what they want to think, and what has happened to him now. I understand that after becoming so overwhelmed with his fame he wanted to be like everyone else. I support Michael Jackson, i have and i always will, if it is true that he will be getting surgery than i wish for him the best. I know that they discriminate him because of all the surgery;s he has gone through but those are his decisions, and just because his face changed that doesnt make him a different person. I LOVE M. J

  • Billie Jean

    Michael Jackson is my hero! I wrote to him when he was in the hospital after his hair was set afire in that freak accident in the 80’s. How dare you make fun of him!

  • MJ Hero4Me

    MJ gonns gonna get the beat on yo ass—–Now look here n understand I ax my pepole whut they think about this story and they call BS! MJ has the sane eye balls he hda when he wuz a childe! y’all Dauly Squab need to drop dead!

  • None

    Are you people really that dumb? Its a satirical newspaper… Its not supposed to be true. Its supposed to be comical and not bare any reality. lol crazy fools…

  • Cynthia

    I’m sencing some hostility here. I wanna know who you are racistic journalist of Satan.

    Love to love you, Michael!

  • Erin

    The King of Pop wants to change huh?!?! Well as a African American I am angry that he went to white and now wants to go back to black! This is crazy, I got no respect for Michael now and will not accept him cuz h’es a traitor to our people.

  • Zaid

    This is one silly tabloid junk artice here!
    Just try to be professional :S
    MJ is a fine man!! in fact, one of the finest men to hit this planet!!
    I support Michael Jackson.

  • Marius

    This journalist is obviously making up untrue and fake story’s about Michael Jackson. This Journalist calls himself McCauley Sneddon for god sakes, I mean come on =/
    And going as far as saying he operated his own eyeballs out , is something only a true disturbing human being would say.

  • SeaNY

    just another junckbloids ever~~~

    so rubbish stuff

    michael is a genious so beat it sucka

  • Hayley

    this article has a very anti-MJ tone in my opinion! how dare the writer say such digusting things about MJ’ face and in such a negative tone! i hate things which imply rumours are true styled thigns!

    if Mj is plannign this long term op then why not, if he wants to return to his roots then thats fair enough. i will lvoe and suport him no matter what colout he is! 🙂

  • James

    LMAO This has to be one of the most ridiculous pieces of tabloid garbage I have ever read! First off Michael’s choice in restoring his skin color is his choice alone and should be respected and second apparently you haven’t seen him lately because he is one gorgeous 49 year old man! I know that this surgery is what he wants and I support him 100%! Also he was found not guilty of the molestation allegations (rightfully so)! Next time do some research and get some facts before you post such rubbish!