New Study Reveals Junk Food Bad for You

SCUNTHORPE - England - According to a new study by an independent research group, junk food is not good for you.

A new study conducted in the British Isles has discovered that feeding your children with junk food leads to health problems.

Sharon is from Scunthorpe and feeds her seven children with large amounts of junk food every day.

A typical lunch for one of her children will include a happy meal, 2 meat pies, chips, a packet of crisps and 3 double chocolate glazed donuts with a dollop of lard on the side to bite on.

We ask her how she affords to feed her children on such expensive fare. “Since I been made pregnant at 12 I been getting benefits.”

She divulged that she receives £1750 per week for her seven children, and has her council tax paid for as well as her 40 cigarette a day habit.

All her children are now obese and Sharon herself is hugely obese too. Last October she did not realise that she had been pregnant for 9 months and gave birth in the Benefits Office whilst picking up her Giro. Apparently the baby just fell out when she stood up in the waiting room.

The unhealthy obesity epidemic is increasing in weight daily, especially in Northern England where the tradition is to fry everything they eat in lard and consume large amounts of meat pies and burgers, washing it all down with high sugar soft drinks or ale.

The Daily Squib asked Sharon at what age she started feeding her children high sugar drinks as well as junk food. She replied nonchalantly that it was the norm to be taking the children to fast food restaurants by the age of 6 months.

Life expectancy, especially in deprived areas of Northern England and inner city areas across the UK, are lower than they were in Victorian England and at the height of the polluted Industrial Revolution. Coupled with the fact that more people are being shot and stabbed in the streets every day by junked-up children with guns and knives, life expectancy plummets even further into the abyss.

The already overburdened NHS is in dire straits as the fodder of poverty amasses on its cardiac arrested shores every second of the day, with a black hole where billions of pounds are haemorraged by the wasteful Labour Government in irrelevant policy.

When America sneezes, Britain catches a cold. Except this time the junk food bug is the unholy American import.

“Some may argue that poverty has always been around in Britain and unhealthy lifestyles part and parcel of this fact. The difference with the past however is that when the poor and ignorant were ill due to their horrible lifestyles they would simply die. Now, however, it is up to the NHS to cure them all and at a very high cost to healthy responsible tax payers,” an anonymous source told us yesterday from a hospital in Northern England.

Thus after much deliberation, the lofty conclusion that ‘junk food’ is bad for you as reported by all the papers is totally redundant because as long as there is production there will be mass consumption and a resultant burden on society.

Next week : Why jumping from aeroplanes without parachutes is bad for you

The week after that : Why Junk Food is Good For You