17.7 C
London
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
secret satire society
HomeHealthNHS Relaunch Goes Well

NHS Relaunch Goes Well

LONDON - England - David Cameron's relaunch of the NHS is going extremely well, the Coalition government disclosed on Monday.

Speaking from the House of Commons, PM, Cameron reiterated the great strides forward in relaunching a re-vamped NHS.

“We’re getting a lot more staff resigning in disgust, patients being operated on in the corridors, and don’t forget, those are the one’s that even get a f*cking bed,” Mr Cameron said to jeers from the rest of the House.

The new relaunch includes taking out huge swathes of funding, sacking thousands of essential staff and denying millions of people crucial medication.

The NHS is such a safe bet for suicidal patients that many travel from all over the country to come to a quick end.

“Who needs to travel to Switzerland’s DIGNITAS? I’ve had friends check into an NHS hospital and expire within a few minutes. Either through catching some untreatable virus or being administered by a doctor from some shit-hole country with zero qualifications and unable to speak a word of English,” Robin Taser, 45, an NHS patient who recently went into hospital to have his appendix removed but had his kidney taken out and leg amputated instead.

It’s a good thing the Americans want to model their health system on the UK’s with ObamaCare. They can see what we have to suffer through on a daily basis. The key words therefore, if you live in the UK are: “Don’t ever get ill!”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

1 COMMENT

  1. What's the difference between Harold Shipman and David Cameron?

    Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!