17.7 C
London
Friday, October 4, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentBrooklyn Beckham Cooked Meals are an Absolute Delight

Brooklyn Beckham Cooked Meals are an Absolute Delight

LOS ANGELES - USA - Brooklyn Beckham is now selling his wonderfully expensive dishes in supermarkets.

Nepotism is everywhere these days, and the celebrity offspring from Beckingham Palace, Brooklyn Beckham is another vile example of this sort of disgusting dalliance. Here we have an untalented dirty rich spoiled brat showing off the culinary delights some upmarket PR firm has concocted for him to parrot.

“Mummy and daddy paid the PR firm to hire a cook to try and make me copy what he cooked. All I can say is I tried,” the putrid little fuckstickle revealed in a recent tabloid spread.

Brooklyn Beckham is now selling ready meals in supermarkets at 10 to 15 quid a pot. Fancy some fancy pieces of processed cabbage dipped in a vomitus chemical laden sauce, that’ll be 15 pounds sir, fancy a Brooklyn Beckham stodgy processed curry with a piece of cardboard naan bread that’ll be 20 pounds madam.

If anyone buys this shit, they are either mentally ill or in need of a serious lobotomy. Do not furnish this cunt’s already overflowing bank account with even more money especially when the monstrous seeping gape hole doesn’t need any more money because his dad gives him millions per month anyway.

Broccoli dipped in what tastes like a tramp’s underpant puss comes in at a lofty £15, and it is preferable for a person to die a painful slow death burned alive at the stake than eat that horrid shit.

The celebrity Nepo offspring that the Beckhams have foisted upon the world are an actual weapon, they are filthy merchants of the grossest form of celebrity corruption and undeserved privilege. If this Brooklyn sphincter possesses a single talent, it is invariably in his vacant stare and gormless look — the kind of look that makes you want to smack him very hard with a baseball bat.

Do not buy his food…

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

5 COMMENTS

  1. I am not sure if Brooklyn Beckham deserves such a seething article like this one even though everytime I see his face I start hitting things.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!