Brit Awards Latest

LONDON - England - It's that time of year again when more corporately created bland, morose, banal autotuned mime acts get together on a stage and accept awards for their marketing department work.

Imagine a grey forest with desecrated trees, just the stumps smouldering in the charred ground and dark clouds spitting out acid rain onto the sodden earth. This is the Music Industry now, and these are the bland, talentless corporate acts that are now its champion.

“Our marketing department sold X amount of records last year and we received a Brit award for it. That means we’re great musicians and songwriters even though we cannot play a single note,” a member of some anonymous boy band revealed last night.

What is the point in having such a bland useless award ceremony for such a bland useless crop of multinational conglomerate created pap?

“If you feed the people enough crap, then they don’t know anything else and consume it without question. Look at the horse and donkey meat being served up to the masses. The people just eat it up without protest and would have continued to do so if no one had said anything,” a Brit award ceremony commentator said last night.