17.7 C
London
Saturday, July 13, 2024
secret satire society
HomeEntertainmentFergie to Star in Remake of Midnight Express

Fergie to Star in Remake of Midnight Express

ISTANBUL - Turkey - The Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, has been recruited to star in the remake of director, Alan Parker's 1978 film set in a Turkish prison, Midnight Express.

According to her agent, the Duchess is very excited about the role and will even spend a whole year in a Turkish prison to see what it’s really like.

Speaking at a hotel along the Bospherus, she said: “Well, I’ve been in a Turkish bath once before, and I’ve been to a few Turkish orphanages, but the thought of going to a Turkish prison really excites me. I wonder if the cell has room for all of my Louis Vuitton bags?”

Because of Fergie’s desperation for funds, especially with a £6.5 million credit card bill she can’t possibly ever pay back, she jumped at the chance to star in the film when there were no other takers.

Turkish prisons are said to be some of the worst in the world, and the original Midnight Express film depicted scenes of torture, brutality and deprivation that has coloured the view of Turkey’s human rights record ever since.

Oliver Stone, who wrote the original screenplay, has been drafted in for the remake, but director Alan Parker will give it a miss this time instead, director Eli Roth has stepped into his boots.

“Sticking Fergie into a Turkish prison has been the wish of many people, especially some prominent members of the royal family, mentioning no names, of course,” a palace aide told the Times.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!