Hipster Disease Infecting Thousands in UK

LONDON - England - Just when you thought it was safe to go out into the streets after the Labour government championed chavs have mostly died off, another vile concoction of youth culture and commercially created trend setting is threatening to take over everything.

“Have you seen the hipsters. They look like dickheads and are a laughing stock,” a man at an East London bus stop quipped as he waited for the next bus.

One thing about the hipsters is that they are not violent, unlike their opposites – the chavs. Instead, a hipster, may have some rough looking tats but would rather prefer a night in knitting a low-cut vest as opposed to kicking someones face in outside an off licence like their chav counterparts.

Hipsters like to think they’re cool and unique, but all seem to dress in exactly the same way as each other with exactly the same accessories and uniform as each other as well as adopting the exact same mannerisms and have-to-pee poses.

Modern hipsters are a subverted version of the 1940s US subculture and the perversion of the original version has suddenly cropped up over in the UK recently. These corporate arseholes are essentially a creation of the social networks, conglomerate fashion outlets, and ad agencies; a fucked up version of myspacers and Glee enthusiasts mixed up in a bucket of Gap clothes, tumblr and shit Eighties sunglasses with beards and t-shirts silk-screened quoting movies they have probably never heard of or ever seen.

The male ones wear similar hipster uniforms to the female versions, and most of the time it is quite hard to tell the difference between the two sexes. There is certainly a high level of effeminacy with the males of the hipster species, with their long flowing scarves and stockings and tweaky bumfluff moustaches.




Hipsters do affirm to a version of jackass geek chic and love to wear glassless NHS style glasses to look more intelligent, even though they have probably never even read a single book let alone some obscure 1960s beat poetry.

“These people are a waste of space and should be exterminated. They make me ill. I want to strangle them,” an anti-hipster person told the BBC last night.

Surely all this hipster hate is unjustified.

All we can say is bring back the chavs. Anything is better than this shite. Actually, scratch that thought, they’re both as bad as each other.

  • Spook

    This look is about 10 YEARS OLD.

    People who think looking different (or like a 1930's German Kaiser) is good in itself, without them thinking, hang on I look like a prick, are unimaginative.

    They should look new, not like a rehash of the old.


  • juliette

    I have nothing against people who are genuinely unique but today's "hipsters" are as original as a paper airplane. Its just a trend,it'll die.

  • tetsuoii

    Aesthetics are not shallow, they are a function of a function and form. As an example I don't wear polyester at all, (xcept bathing shorts) because it's shit. When I see another person badly dressed, I perceive that this individual has no understanding of quality and is thus shallow. They don't see the deeper qualities of the objects and clothes they surround themselves with. The prefer shit to quality. This is not purely a visual thing, but quality material has a tendency to adapt more gracefully to it's environment.

  • Just another human being

    I get called a hipster all the time, it is not a bad thing, I don't wear shit from the eighties, I have definitely read a few books. I do my own thing, and I speak my mind and people generally don't like it because they don't understand cause they are usually too caught up in mainstream society. From what I understand a hipster is a person who goes there own way whether people like it or not.

  • MissKreeps

    It disgusts me how something as shallow and temporary as aesthetic looks are the only thing that seem to matter to a good portion of the human race..
    I have friends across pretty much all youth cultures and not one of us care about how the other dresses or looks why? because we like each other for who we are.

  • Chav

    Im a chav, I dont hate on hipsters.

  • Cecelia :P

    *Sigh* And so it starts… Anyone want to know how I heard about "hipster"? I got called a hipster. Yeah, someone randomly said, "Omg you are such a hipster. you have a blog on tumblr? Wow, I wouldn't follow you ever, you most likely have an annoying hipster blog." Please note, I STILL don't know what hipster blogs are? (feel free to comment and explain, I am honestly curious :P) I post only about anime. So is that supposed to be hipster? Anyways, So, could someone post and explain what exactly hipster is? When I look it up on google or on tumblr, I only get hater definitions (example: fags from hell who need to dress better and stop looking like annoying gays). Could I actually get a definition? Because I'm being called one and have no clue what they even are :/ And it's pissing me off… because if I don' know what they are, then obviously I'm not a hipster, I'm being me, all the way.

  • canadian

    I don't mind the way "hipsters" act these days, but the clothing is atrocious. I only wish that they would ditch the clothes. Maybe change to the kind of clothing you would see on the red carpet nowadays. at least those types of clothes don't make me want to punch a baby.

  • Wolfie

    Yeah. Dickheads. ^-^

  • LUV IT


  • Reality

    They are different so what and besides most of the girls are hot so stop complaining just to be twat and take the truth that you all need to grow a pair and realise the good in what is quite simply not bad
    P.s really hot !

  • dickhead1

    you'd get an 'F' if I was the teacher, you've got spelling and grammar mistakes…and I always give an 'F' to those who are trying to be cheeky online and make mistakes whilst doing so!

  • thevoiceofreason

    I love the video it's genius…

  • tr0l0l

    Tony Cross, damn what a complete fucking idiot you are, I think you need to go to fucking Specsavers kid since you obviously need some lenses in those frame glasses you wear you hipster tosspot.

  • MrGrimm

    So, let me get this straight. You are hating on an entire subculture you know nothing about because they like different things then you, or because of the clothes they wear? Why would you get so worked up over it? And don't say you don't care, because the fact that you took the time to type this piece of bull-crap up means that hipsters are really getting under your skin.

    P.S. If i turned this in to my ninth, or even eight grade teacher, I would get nothing above a C. You're sentance structure doesn't vary at all, you are comparing two things from completely different categeries, and you're evidence? Really? You just took the words of some random guy off the street and called it evidence? PUHleeze, if that was considered evidence, I could prove that you live in a pineapple, you're name is Mike Vazovski, and you're goal in life is to become a porcupine.

  • Hippie….

    Pussy, leave us ALONE.

  • treegirl

    learn how to spell. it doesnt make you cool because you type wierd. it just makes it harder to read what ever you are typing.

  • thomas mullins

    0mg st0p d1551n hiPst3rs dey R s0 c00l lol! x0x ponies and myspace.com r gr8, y u h8 me, cuz i w3ar gay gl4ss3s lol ffs, i l0ve chin0s and sh1t haha!! plz st0p da h8 wit me race, i love everyone.

    peece out bell3nds l0l!!one1!!eleven!!

  • lewis

    Shut up hipster fag

  • Youfailbro

    He actually didn't misspell any word. He used the wrong versions of some words. But misspell them, no he didn't.

  • nono

    Ssame thing with scenes and gangsters and preps scene people try to be unique but they dress the fucking same so do gangsters and preppys too so shut the fuck up its not just hipsters i dont hate any of them im just saying.

  • tony cross

    Yes but your spelling is hurting us love. Come on, get an education will you.

  • die hipster die

    die hipsters die leave NYC and go to london where the weather suxxx. snoochi boochies!


  • Emma

    there not hurting anyone. . . so grow a pair and get the over it

  • marisasalenez

    wut da fak. this fad started in america soooooo long ago
    damn hoes needa catch on with the trends
    #####forever wantZ to be trEndi

  • Desiree

    LOL ! Those people have really bad taste in their outfit. But who is to blame them for trying to be self-expressive. No one has the right to label them 'hipsters' unless they themselves proclaim it. ๐Ÿ™‚ & what's wrong with wearing loafers without socks? Who said its wrong to do wear/do that ? As long as they don't kill anyone, or slander anyone, I think it's alright. ๐Ÿ™‚ Ease up a little on the hatred, spread more love bitches.

  • Taylor

    i got called a hipster the other day, but i still think this is fucking hilarious xD

  • Mary

    my god! 'the fuck with all this hate about hipsters? if they want to wear fake glasses, let them be. At least they aren't beating people like ''gangsta'' do. A bunch of my friends actually are hipsters, but they aren't as fake and clichรฉ as you describe them. Those people you're talking about are some ''wanna be'', just dumb or simply searching fo their own style. When they'll find it, be sure they'll quit wearing those fake glasses ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • suckme

    lol, half my friends are hipsters.. this is fun.

  • malopuff

    i felt like i should comment cos i accidently thumbs u down i meant to thumbs u up. IT IS!!

  • bowwowowowow

    i do think they are poking fun at the glasses more due to the fact the majority of the people wearing them dont actually need them in the slightest so dont take it personally hun

  • Elami

    Ya know Adam…just because being a dickhead is cool now..doesn't mean you have to prove it as often as possible love…

  • Adam

    You're a bitch

  • MIKA

    Excuse me ( I'm 15) and I wear what you call " shit Eighties Glasses". I would like to point out that some people use them as REAL GLASSES because that shit eighties frame is quite cheaper than the ones that makes you look smart. Sometimes they dress like this because it makes them feel like they belong in a group or something. Don't judge the entire book just because a chapter sucked.

  • gabriel snell

    @burp typical long-winded hipster comment

  • Harold McTavish

    Even more hipsters will be buying Apple products now that Steve Jobs is so under ground.

  • themadliteralist

    right on man. i'm getting sick of seeing these people.

  • Anonymous

    this is extremely offensive

  • LovelyRhi

    In the words of my best friend, Jesse.."fuck em. They ain't got nothin on this shit." (referring to himself and me) lmao

  • derp

    Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool! LOL

  • Honeysuckle

    I'm so hipster I was following people before Twitter….

  • Hardmod smith

    I killed a hipster and now he's where he always wanted to be. Underground.

  • Burp

    In the Uk, a lot of the hipster influence has come from festivals, where all the coool people hang (and which have now been infested with JayZ, rap and hiphop but that's another rant).. Festival ethos (whether these idiots know it or not) comes from the mother of all festivals, Woodstock, where it was all about anti-corporate, anti-war, pro-individualism, but these people are all the same, even though they think they aren't, none really give a toss about politics, (what, make the effort to read and think for yourself? It's easier to put on a pair of fake glasses without real lenses and just make it look like you read and think for yourself) and are only concerned where their next Frappacino is coming from. Even Fearne Cotton (puke) makes her usual appearances at all the festivals to comment on the fashion at festivals. She would have been kicked out Woodstock, nostrils flaring in indignation. What do you do when an anti-establisment ethos becomes part of the establishment? Even Lady Gaga, who many of these hipsters idolise, is fucking boring. Someone tell them IT'S ALL BEEN DONE!!