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Gaga Gives Birth to Speckled Hen’s Egg on Stage

TORREMOLINOS - Spain - During a surprise stop over in the holiday town popular with Brits from up North, Lady Gaga, performed a spectacular feat that astounded the assembled crowds.

 

Pop performer, Lady Gaga amazed audiences at a Spanish bar on Monday evening when she gave birth to a speckled hen’s egg on stage during a rendition of her new single, Eggy Guff Guff.

Big Bird

One of the spectators at Harry’s Bar and Dance, Laura Ginster, 43, located on the popular Avda Palma de Mallorca, recalled the amazing incident:

“She like flew over all the way from America for a concert here and was bangin’ away on one of her autotune tunes.  When she bent over we thought we heard a fart, but no, it was her Lycra ripping. By ‘eck, she were giving birth right there on stage. I saw it with me own eyes, I tell you. Her eyeballs rolled back in the sockets and all we could see were the whites and she got into a trance state, like how I get just before I pick up my giro. Then this unholy sound came from her throat, like as if she were singin’ one of her records. I looked at me boyfriend, who I had just met three minutes ago, and we couldn’t believe it, the egg was comin’ out her bottom. Once the egg came out, we heard a puckering sound as her arse popped shut again, and the egg plopped onto the stage. It was a beautiful sight. What an artiste she is, the best talent I’ve ever seen since I saw that Jim Davidson down in Bodmin, innit.”

The Lady Gaga stunt has shocked the music world and MTV are even threatening to ban her videos from now on.

“After the egg was laid, one of her assistants ran onto the stage and rubbed the side of the egg with a feather duster and some polyunsaturated margarine. That’s when the egg hatched and a little chick emerged and started to chirp a Gaga song through a vocoder,” another audience member at the show revealed.

Eyewitness accounts at the show also reveal how Gaga then proceeded to lay eight more eggs from her posterior while she was playing the piano.

Some of the eggs that were secreted from Gaga’s anus were then broken on stage into a large frying pan and cooked by her personal chef to be shared around the stagehands and audience.

“I asked for my egg sunny side up. It was tasty beyond belief. I love my Gaga eggs,” Sam Tolleridge, 23, an audience member from Burnley, revealed to the Sun newspaper.

Gaga is also planning on opening her own hatchery in Illinois, USA, where she will sell her freshly laid eggs for $4,000 a piece.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. I wonder when she's coming to Cardiff I want to eat one of her eggs. I like them hard boiled.

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