“I have at great pain of death decided to reveal to you the goings on deep within the bowels of the Bilderberg meetings attended by high ranking members of the order every year.
“First, I must caution you the reader, to read this with an open mind, to not judge us too harshly, or to start spreading this piece around the internet like wildfire, because it is not in the general public’s interest that this knowledge is disseminated.
“To say that I am in great danger if anyone ever finds out who I am is an understatement, however, I choose to do this in the interests of the greater good.
“Okay, let me get started. The Bilderberg is always chaired by Henry. Once we are all assembled in the various hotels we occupy over the meetings over the years, he appears. He likes to wear a smoking jacket and puff on cigarettes while delighting everyone with stories of the Nixon days.
“The basic premise of the meetings is that we all have saunas, massages and enjoyable luncheons together. We are pampered, everything is on call.
“Business does resume after a day or so of frolicking. Here is the clincher, what you have been waiting to hear about what really goes on in the Bilderberg meetings; where those few chosen denizens of the highest order convene. We basically talk, that’s it, there is a conference room set up, and we talk about projected world affairs and what not.
“So there you have it mes amis, just a lot of talking, maybe a slide show here or there, drinks are on hand, then it’s back to the sauna. That’s it.”