Syrian Chemical Weapons Sold Back to UK

LONDON - England - Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has decided to sell his chemical weapons back to the people who sold them to him.

“I might as well make a little money out of it. This gassing business costs a lot of money you know,” Assad commented on a recent interview on Russian television.

Sources say the amount of chemical weapons that will be sold back to the UK are enormous and there may need to be dozens of freight ships coming from Syria to deliver the deadly payload.

Vince Cable, head of the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills said: “Once we get them back, we’ll just sell them off to another country that gasses its own people. I’ve heard the Burmese are pretty brutal, or maybe the North Koreans. Funny thing is, I have no problems sleeping at night, in fact I sleep like a gassed baby.”

No wonder the economy is doing so well.