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Wall Street Stockbrokers Occupy Deserted Field in College Campus

ILLINOIS - USA - A group of forty five top stockbrokers from the country's biggest brokerage firms have camped down in a deserted field at Hicksville University, 34 kms from Chicago.

“We demand our rights to make loads of money and spend it on fast cars, fast women and luxury penthouses,” Larry Silverheimer, 45, a mortgage broker, who earned $16 million last year and paid only $120,000 tax on that, told reporters.

The bankers were flown onto the deserted field via helicopter and their butlers and servants created luxury tents for them to protest from.

“I’m here today to beg the Occupy Wall Street protesters to forgive my excesses. Last year alone I made over $25 million in taxpayer funded bonuses even though I actually lost taxpayers’ bailout money trading. How about that for an amazing turnaround. I was rewarded for failing. Now that’s what I call banking!” Ed Jimsen, 32, a senior banker at Goldman Sachs told the FT.

The assembled bankers want to demand more funds from the Federal Reserve so they can carry on with their luxurious lifestyles.

“The Fed has to pay us some more money because we’ve basically run out of money from the last bailout. We kinda spent it all already. We want the US taxpayers to pay for more of our goodies. Shieet, I have a fleet of Maseratis, Lamborghinis and Ferraris to service, step up to the plate people, y’all owe me,” an angry Billy Batts, 31, senior analyst at J.P. Morgan told a news crew.

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Just put the OWS folks and these folks at the same location and let them work it out. Afterall these are the ONLY people OWS are after (even though they think its MILLIONS!)

  2. Why not give them what they are asking for? We've done it so far. We can manage another bailout! Change would be traumatic for them. They are used to Maseratis, butlers and low taxes. We're not! Change might even be traumatic for us. God – choices, choices!!

  3. This is sickening have these people no shame? Someone should take a bulldozer there and show em some justice!!!

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