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Newt Gingrich in LSD Shocker

By Earl Dugen 26/01/2012 10:55:00

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Newt Gingrich wants to be the LSD chomping next President of the United States

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Republican presidential hopeful, Newt Gingrich could be derailed by his most recent campaign video after it was revealed he took over six tabs of LSD before filming.

"I remember Newt in his trailer before the filming started, he was scooting along the floor talking about blue bubbles and mini mee dragons and the great fuckin' time he had at executive drug rehab," Johnson Arnolds, a key grip on the campaign shoot told CBS news.

Things got really weird when Newt got onto the set and started talking.

"He was talking some really weird shit. We tried to tell him to keep to the script but the little rascal kept goofing around with that nonsense shit. In the end we just called it a day and four people had to escort Newt to his trailer because he thought he was on the surface of the moon," director, Timmy Olsen, revealed.

Some voters have actually applauded Gingrich for his drug taking: "I think he's cool now. I was at Woodstock, and I know what it's like to take some bad acid. Man, I was tripping for three weeks solid after that, dang nearly hospitalised me."

There are calls for Mr Gingrich to be investigated by Drug Enforcement agents, as he was seen taking over six LSD tabs before the shoot.

Although he may have acquired a bad batch of acid, and it may have fried his brains permanently, he was still able to conduct himself well at a recent Republican rally in Wisconsin on Tuesday.

"Newt needs help because the acid literally fried his brain. He can't string a coherent sentence together, I know Bush couldn't either, but this is worse," a Republican campaign manager told Fox News.

Newt's ex-wife was not available for comment.

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Comments (26 posted)

Ron 20/06/2012 07:55:35

I worked in the campaign office for Newt Gingrich and I have to say that terrible articles like this one ruined it for Newt. I hope you guys are happy for what you did. A poorly written piece of junk like this and it is not funny. I s this what you people thought was funny? Ruining a great man's chances to become President of the United States? Shame on you all.

-1

Hungurl 29/02/2012 07:23:38

I think this article won him the primaries hahahah!!!! LOLOL!

Billy 10/02/2012 23:16:39

it's b great if we gotta wacked out junkie prez...man that wld be awesome!!

-1

Charlie Humbold 10/02/2012 09:42:11

People have this misconception about hard drugs. Well less people die from heroin than alcohol every year. Check out the stats for that. How about cigarrettes? More people die from that than LSD or any other so-called illegal drug. I do drugs in moderation and I'm perfectly fine I hold down a job and have afamily. I like opium, heroin and pot. I sometimes do acid if I really want to go someplace, or peyote. Drugs awaken your consciousness and open up the pathways to other thought processes. Gingrich is great when he does drugs, I laughed when I saw the video, he really is a comedic genius. Just looking at his face makes me laugh, it's all squashed up like a potato. C'mon ppl lighten up, just go with the flow, surf the wave y'all know that's life, let bygones be bygones.

Peace to Newt..

Red Key 10/02/2012 03:36:59

Here's a head trip for you idiots.

American's who simply vote cause a person does drugs, SHOULD be totally blown off the planet!!

-2

Dan 09/02/2012 23:11:08

I always thought Newt Gingrich was a stuffy old shit with a corncob up is ass. I've been pleasantly surprised.

gypsum 09/02/2012 20:21:34

Newt Gingrich sucks. Why would someone like him take LSD. It's dangerous.

-2

Aldridge Dean 09/02/2012 20:59:39

Actually LSD is way safer than alcohol. I've taken acid once every few months since the seventies and had no problems. It's a state of mind man ya gotta set your mind and soul free. It's beautiful that a politician like Newt is doing acid. They should call him Newt the Bewt cuz he set his mind free...the rest will follow brother ya got my vote for sure! Peace! Love !

Boric Acid 09/02/2012 18:46:53

You know I was born on a chicken farm, down in Mashville Tennessee, twernt nothin' there but a sky full of air, sixteen billion chickens and me. Then one day I said hey,hey hey, think I'll drop a little LSD. It blew my mind, I got real kind, and I set my chickens free. There were chickens in the pasture, chickens in the barn, chickens in the cauliflower, chickens in the corn. Chickens driven' Cadillac’s to Washington D.C., The day I set my chickens free. So although I'm just an Acid Head, I am completely sane, so don't believe reports that say the stuff affects the brain. My mind is sharp my head is clear; my memory is keen so Newt I want to wish you a Happy Halloween.

Justin Falcon 13/04/2012 00:31:45

Mr / Mrs Boric Acid,

My sister and I recently found a strange cartoon drawing in our basement in a box of our fathers items. The drawing had the same words on it you typed on this very page. Can you please tell me where this quote came from? Thank you.

respectfully,

Concerned son and daughter

janine grigson 09/02/2012 17:07:03

newt sickens me he is there talking jibberish and then he says he is faithful to his wife while all along he is out there chasing some other skirt...I hate hypocrits and he's a liar for sure. Taking drugs dud is not cool this is the funniest shit i ever seen.

BS Detector 09/02/2012 15:20:54

IS Newt tripping?

Just look at his wife.

Mike 09/02/2012 14:58:10

I love the Squib this is genius stuff.. hahah! Way better than the Onion...British satire is way superior...

09/02/2012 15:54:52

Brits humor is way more cutting then American and they can say alot more things. The Onion used to be good but now it's just like any other safe corporate vehicle for conformity. Whenever I want the juicy stuff I go to the Brits...hell look at Ricky Gervais...!! btw, the Brits were doing satire way before America was even conceived as a nation..look up publications like Punch ect...

Ollie beast of Cirencester 09/02/2012 21:35:47

I used to like the Onion but it's now very stale and commercially geared, and not only that it's very insular only pertaining to the North American.
I prefer something that is much more abrasive, worldly and has some meat and potatoes not a small side dish.

I have to say I discovered the Daily Squib two years ago and have been hooked ever since. It's so much more irreverent and has a certain kick, like a noxious Scottish whisky that'll make you jolt up and kick your wife in the shin.
Americans rarely understand the subtleties of British humour and satire. Look at Private Eye that's the original satire that the Onion could never replicate.
They just don't get it, they are best left to the obviousness of their comedy if you can call it that.

Yankee who knows satire 09/02/2012 22:49:19

In the US there's a channel called PBS which shows a lot of British stuff. I learnt a great deal from it and it's the only good channel on the networks. Blackadder is fave tho...

Graham 29/01/2012 17:40:05

he's a liar-narc and narc-liar that like bush is completely dishonest and hypocritical about his substance consumptions and i would never vote for dishonesty and hypocrisy! i'm tired of liar-narcs / narc-liars and won't vote for them anymore is why i'm voting against obama and and all the rest of the republicans except, of course, honest and minimally hypocritical Ron Paul!