Newt Gingrich wants to be the LSD chomping next President of the United States
WASHINGTON DC – USA – Republican presidential hopeful, Newt Gingrich could be derailed by his most recent campaign video after it was revealed he took over six tabs of LSD before filming.
“I remember Newt in his trailer before the filming started, he was scooting along the floor talking about blue bubbles and mini mee dragons and the great fuckin’ time he had at executive drug rehab,” Johnson Arnolds, a key grip on the campaign shoot told CBS news.
Things got really weird when Newt got onto the set and started talking.
“He was talking some really weird shit. We tried to tell him to keep to the script but the little rascal kept goofing around with that nonsense shit. In the end we just called it a day and four people had to escort Newt to his trailer because he thought he was on the surface of the moon,” director, Timmy Olsen, revealed.
Some voters have actually applauded Gingrich for his drug taking: “I think he’s cool now. I was at Woodstock, and I know what it’s like to take some bad acid. Man, I was tripping for three weeks solid after that, dang nearly hospitalised me.”
There are calls for Mr Gingrich to be investigated by Drug Enforcement agents, as he was seen taking over six LSD tabs before the shoot.
Although he may have acquired a bad batch of acid, and it may have fried his brains permanently, he was still able to conduct himself well at a recent Republican rally in Wisconsin on Tuesday.
“Newt needs help because the acid literally fried his brain. He can’t string a coherent sentence together, I know Bush couldn’t either, but this is worse,” a Republican campaign manager told Fox News.
Newt’s ex-wife was not available for comment.