George W Bush Lost on Runaway Homemade Balloon

"What the hell?"

DENVER – Colorado – Ex-president, George W Bush led the US authorities on a wild chase yesterday when it was claimed he was inside a runaway hot air balloon but was still unaccounted for after it landed safely in a corn field.

A massive search was launched after George W Bush’s friend Rummy said
he saw the
sixty three-year-old ex-president climbing into a box beneath the flying saucer-shaped craft.

“Dubya had invited us and some friends over for a cookout and we got ourselves a hot air balloon and planned on putting Al Gore in the helium powered craft and sending it up to 7,000 ft for some fun when things went horribly wrong. George was checking the tether and readying the craft when it suddenly lifted off and the look of sheer horror and terror on his dumb face made us all drop our charred meat and laugh our goddamn asses off. You should have seen the look on his face. I put ten bucks down that the alcoholic shit his diaper right there and then,” Donald Rumsfeld told CNN.

Dick Cheney, who was attending the barbecue, even rushed off to his car to fetch his shotgun but by the time he returned the balloon was at 5,000 feet and travelling at 60 mph.

Balloon Boy

The airforce scrambled some jets and some helicopters but all the world could do is watch the spectacle.

Millions of viewers around the world then watched the drama unfold as the
spinning craft sailed through the sky followed by camera crews in
helicopters.

The helium powered balloon finally came down in Colarado nearly 1000
miles away from Texas after it had been up in the air for almost six hours.

But there was no sign of Dubya. Then, as the world held its breath, police
made a dramatic announcement.

“Ladies and gentleman, we do not know where George W Bush has disappeared to. We have eyewitnesses who say he went into the balloon’s compartment but there was no sign of the little chimp when the craft landed. We can only assume the worst and extend our condolences to his family,” Denver state police trooper, Roger McAuliff told Fox News.

Mr Bush’s distraught wife, Laura, had this to say about the whole sorry incident: “George always wanted to go up into space. I just spoke to some people at NASA and they say they detected something in the stratosphere a few hours ago. Maybe Gump must have jumped from that height or something. I can’t believe this is happening!”