"Let them eat cabbage"
LONDON – England – Comrade Brown is urging the people to not waste food rations and to recycle all that they eat.
Comrade Gordon Brown our supreme unelected leader is urging the populations of the Soviet State of Britain to recycle cabbage rations.
The Soviet state advises comrades and workers to recycle food by not wasting ti in any way. Your cabbage ration per week must be utilised to its maximum capacity.
Already the central Politburo office has released the lyrics for a new Soviet song to be distributed amongst the workers:
“Comrades, do not waste your cabbage. You can make cabbage soup, cabbage ice cream, cabbage jam and toasted cabbage with cream. You can have cabbage with your sprouts or cabbage with your Soviet ale. How about a bit of cabbage sprinkled over a warm bit of gruel. Cabbage dessert on a Sunday if you please. Comrades, dearest comrades, you must not waste your cabbage for times are hard. Comrade Brown eats cabbage too and so should you.”
We must be strong comrades because our Supreme leader urges us to fight the terrible legacy of the previous Soviet Chancellor who has created the terrible situation we are in now. Luckily, Comrade Brown’s ten year cabbage plan will ensure that cabbage will be plentiful once again in about nine and a half years time from now.
There will be further cuts in rationing from next week when all proles will only be allowed one cabbage per month. All Soviet citizens and brave Bolshevik warriors will have to survive on that single cabbage without exception. You are urged to refrigerate the cabbage so as not to see any rot setting in.
Soviet comrades are urged to visit Comrade Brown’s information site to find recipes that they can utilise to create their cabbage dishes.
Politburo officials for the Stasi councils will be going through all Soviet citizens’ rubbish. Anyone found to have thrown away any piece of cabbage or lard will be taken to their local eco-gulag and beaten with sticks as a punishment for wasting.
Notice: B64575 INGSOCK Long Live the Gordo!