Cardboard Cutouts to Fill Empty Olympic Seats

LONDON – England – Cardboard cutouts will be used to act as temporary placeholders in premium seating at Olympic events, as organisers attempt to avoid the spectacle of empty seats at venues.

The approach of filling venues with cardboard cutouts will make the empty stadiums look fuller than they really are, according to Olympic organisers

A spokeswoman for the London organizing committee said Sunday it had begun filling thousands of empty seats in accredited areas with cardboard cutouts.

“No one wants to watch a bunch of brainwashed men and women running around a track for hours on end or jumping into sand pits. This is why we’re having trouble with the frickin’ seats. They’d rather shave their eyes with rusty razors than watch that boring crap,” said Lewis Sebastians, secretary of the organizing committee.

Organisers will also pipe in audience cheering sounds to the events, otherwise there would be total silence during the athletic competitions.

“You’ve got to know when to press the right button. We’ve got one button for cheering and clapping successful athletes, one for losing athletes and another for just general crowd bustling sounds. The speakers are hidden behind the cardboard cutouts so no one will be the wiser,” the technician in charge of the audience audio told the BBC.

  • Jo Whattamacalled

    It did not do so well in the windy day events….

  • HARRY

    I LOVE BRITAIN AND WILL BE COMING BACK BUT THID IS DISGRACEFUL I PAID $600 FOR A TICKET TO SEE 400M. ARE YOU SAYING THAT IF I WAS A CARD BOARD CUTOUT I COULD OF GOT THE TICKET FOR FREE??? WHSAT? THE F???

  • dan

    I know how u feel I have 4 children and we came over to London to see the olmpics. you saying it is expensive over in England is an understatement friend I spent so much oney Im going to be in debt for the next 20 years. but we were at the soccer event and did not see any cardbord cutouts that musta been cuz it was popular or something. some of the other events i heard wehre not so lucky and half full.

  • JimD

    ROFL…..I really hope the comments below are sarcasm :S

  • Rudi

    We've been watching it on NBC from Chicago and since they put in the cardboard cutouts there have been no empty seats at the events. I think it has been a great idea.

  • Me

    What a load of rubbish. As if an olympics organiser would comment like that to the press too.

  • gerald lautner

    I cant believe it! me and my family paid over $10000 to come over to the UK and watch the Olympics and now their filling it with card board ppl???!?!? something is very wrong!!

  • Hillel Szczepanski

    Ridiculous !! Absolute bollocks to this. What about giving a seat to someone who lives in Stratford?

    They should let us have it for free. Are we wurth less then cardboard?

  • whinging poms

    STOP WHINGING ATLEAST THEIR DOING SOMETHING TO MAKE IT LOOK BETTER!

  • Andrew

    This is disgraceful my family tried to get tickets to see the GB men's hockey and they were sold out. I cannot believe they would do such a dispicable thing like put cardboard cut outs. Gobsmacked!