Britain's First Face Transplant Hailed a Success

Before and after

LONDON – England – Surgeons have completed Britain's first ever face transplant, the Daily Squib exclusively reports.

“This has been an absolutely astounding piece of work. We successfully completed the complicated surgery after many months, even years of preparation,” chief surgeon, Dr Tory Benn, revealed from the Royal Gloucestershire Hospital in Piccadilly.

Eleven surgeons performed the 28-hour operation, which leaves the person able to perform similar tasks to the owner of the previous face.

Dr Benn said the operation was the most complex transplant completed to date. Surgeons had to incorporate politics, charisma, lies and bullshit from a man who had recently had an unfortunate accident in government

“It’s incredible, they both function in the exact same way but with different faces,” a bemused member of the public said..