LONDON – England – Kim Jong-Un may have had his uncle shot in the run up to Christmas but it doesn’t have to be like that — honest.
Purging your family of annoying family members a la Kim Jong-Un can be tempting to millions of people at Christmas, our resident psychology expert, Dr. Mary Teufel has come up with five handy tips to get through the Christmas period without a single shot being fired.
1) However much you may get annoyed by some members of your family this Christmas try to smile a lot. Even forced smiles are permissible but don’t make it too obvious that it’s fake.
2) Get so bladdered on booze that you don’t give a shit about anything let alone being in the same room as some people you have nothing really in common apart from being part of the same dysfunctional family in some way.
3) Don’t go nuclear over the TV remote. Just drink more booze and soon you won’t care about what you’re watching.
4) Bring your therapist along with you, if they get into a fight, at least you will have some relief. Then have some more f*cking turkey. Just relax it will all be over soon.
5) When it’s time to open the presents try to look appreciative however crap the present is. And remember kids, Santa is not real anyway so it doesn’t matter. Chill out, have a cream soda.