Long Arm of State Now Extends to Celebrity TV Chefs

LONDON – England – All across the nation people are gathering for a campaign to shut the most annoying TV chef ever, Jamie Oliver, up for good.

“Why doesn’t he just go back to his bijoux restaurant cafe and get his fat slobbering tongue over one of his two minute meals? Why does that annoying blubber tongued rich c*nt have to bother us with his useless advice to poor people? Has he ever been poor? You smarmy shister, go back to Hoxton,” a man from Walthamstow told the BBC, before being kicked off air.

The condescending nature of Jamie Oliver, with his multi-million pound franchise restaurant business has angered so much of Britain’s population that many are planning on using his likeness as a Bonfire night Guy, but there could be a better form of revenge. Stop buying his expensive supermarket products. Consign him to the dustbin of mediocre TV chefs by not eating his overpriced junk food, don’t buy his books.

“I wish the f*cker would drop dead. How about he tries to live on a pittance like the rest of the country benefit cheque to benefit cheque in front of a 50″ 3D TV. We don’t have the time to source ingredients from delicatessens and Hampstead specialist food shops, we’re too busy watching the X Factor eating ready-made processed shit. Stick it up your jacksie you ox tongued jelly faced faux cockney arsehole,” one woman said before stuffing her face with a ready made spag bol costing £2.10 from Tesco.

Isn’t it quite ironic that every aisle in every supermarket is stuffed to the rafters with Jamie Oliver products and ready meals with his fat face staring at you from the tins. Stop buying his crass money making junk then you stupid f*cking lemmings and lets see this impudent runt off to the poor house. Stop buying his stuff. Stop buying his stuff. Just stop it will you. STOP BUYING HIS STUFF!

Useful idiots like Jamie Oliver are simply mind controlled mirrors of how the elite perceives the untermenschen and unwashed masses. We are nearing the time when the curtain will be fully drawn back. As for the useful idiots, they will be treated with the same contempt as the masses, because they are just being used. What is a chef anyway? He is simply a cook, a slave in a kitchen to his masters.

  • Lestat

    One thing I hate more than anything in this world is Jamie Oliver. A pox upon him.