Man 87% Certain of Breaking Leg Chops it Off

BALTIMORE – USA – A man who was told by some doctor that he was 87% certain that he might break his leg in the next 20 years has chopped it off just to make sure it does not get broken.

“I was reading about that actress Angelina Jolie mutilating her body just because some quack told her a nonsense statistic, so I did the same thing, I chopped off my frickin’ leg,” the man told Fox news on Tuesday.

The man said he was happy to do the amputation if it meant his leg never broke.

“At least I won’t break my right leg,” the man said hobbling around on crutches before falling and breaking his left leg.

There have been appeals from sane people around the world to put a stop to the sheer madness of predictive body mutilation as well as celebrity endorsements of the stupid practice.