Alex Jones wishes you a happy prepper Christmas before the apocalypse
TEXAS – USA – The former guerilla news network, Infowars today broadcast a pleasantly happy radio show about the U.S. government and its policies.
There was shock across the interwebs today as stalwart justice keeper Infowars broadcaster Alex Jones said something nice about the U.S. government.
Speaking on his daily mouth frothing session, Jones looked strangely calm as he slowly said a few words about the virtues of the U.S. government’s policies.
One viewer, Ed Dweebs was visibly shocked at the Jones turnaround and commented on the site as did many others.
“I could see him talking in calm considered tones. At one point he started to twitch uncontrollably and a bead of sweat tentatively meandered down his bulging forehead. Was he going to relapse? Well, he shook it off and just carried on talking about how great the economy is doing and then he actually said that gun control might be the right thing to do after all. Obamacare was not such a bad thing either. When he invited rock singer Eddie Vedder onto the show he took his gun from his holster and put it in the bin. At that point I spat out my coffee all over the screen.”
All was revealed at the end of the show when Jones started plugging his latest product, the Super Calm and Comply serum which stands to make him and his business partners millions more than usual. Sponsored by the U.S. government, Alex Jones has found this product trumps all other products with its superior profits.
“I seen the light. Selling products utilising fear had limited success. I was still making millions but that’s never enough. I’m now working with the government and profits have quadrupled,” Mr Jones said before shooting off in his new Ferrari after the show.