Why Unknown Celebrities Are the Bane of Every Newspaper Reader

LONDON – England – Reading the news is getting even more complicated a recent research paper has revealed, as many people do not know who the celebrities are any more.

“In the 2000s it is actually very hard to know the multitude of so-called celebrities that are foisted everywhere. These are of course not notable people but minor dandruff droppings from the smelly anus of celebrity culture. Nicky Minj, Ally X, G-Squad, Rab Bits and Toni Grahams, like who the f*ck are they?” a confused Daily Mail reader revealed.

Real fame has been diluted to such a low level now that many are saying there is no fame left in the barrel.

“When everybody’s famous, then no one is. Even pre-internet established iconic stars are revealing their minutest life details on Twitter, thus immediately removing any pretence of mystery or fame. If one has an image of an icon and they suddenly reveal that they have a problem with winnets when wiping their arse in the morning, this wonderful insight immediately renders their fame redundant. When every one is on the social networks babbling away, there is no fame any more. I would have to say, the only famous people then are the ones who stay off,” social scientist and researcher at Cambridge University, Dean Halstead, revealed in a recent research paper.