New Parentless Facebook Needed by Desperate Teens

PALO ALTO - USA - Teenagers are deserting Facebook in droves daily much to the consternation of the beleaguered owners trying to plug the massive hole in the sinking social network.

Everything has an ending, and it does not matter how much money you throw at something that is failing, polishing turds just gets you shiny turds.

Anyone knows that having your parents on Facebook is going to be a disaster, and as the teens rush off to parentless spots far away from the data mining Facebook zone, the share holders are understandably bricking themselves.

Lest we forget the sad lament of Zuckerberg as he cries out from his Palid Alto mansion, what has he got to worry about anyway, he’s rolling in enough money to buy Sudan and Ethiopia?

“I wake up in the middle of the night sweating like Vanessa Feltz on a treadmill. What if Facebook loses 80% of its users? My shares, my shares! And then a smile creeps up on me, ah, I sold most of them, you know like Myspace Tom did before unloading the lot onto Murdoch and son and watching it go into the shitter,” Zuckerberg recalls in this week’s edition of Wired.