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Violent Prisoner Asked to Leave Prison Before Finishing PS5 Game

BELMARSH - England - A violent prisoner asked to leave prison before finishing his PS5 game has decried the new Labour scheme.

Prisons are so full that the Government is releasing thousands of criminals early and have already let off 147,000 people accused of offences including violent rape, paedophilia, armed robbery, attempted murder, murder, violence, drug offences and weapons possession. The community resolutions scheme is letting off thousands of violent and deadly criminals into Britain’s already overcrowded, crime-ridden streets. The emptying of prisons by Labour is so bad, one violent prisoner was turfed out of his cushy cell before he could finish his PS5 game.

Crime Pays

“I was playing The Last of Us II and the warden pops his fucking head round the door. He simply said that they’re clearing out from orders from upon high. I should get my kit, my drugs, my George Foreman grill, espresso machine, PS5, and virtual reality set and sling my hook. I was going to be released in 45 minutes.

“I was not happy mate, I was in the middle of the Hillcrest chapter about to take down some WLF soldiers. I got this far, and they tell me to leave? I also had a pedicure booked for 4:30, and I had a one-hour slot booked with that hot Julie, the new guard, she always drains my balls till they’re like raisins. I think I’ll celebrate being thrown out of prison by beating the living shit out of some random stranger when I get out, then frogmarching them to the cashpoint.”

Looks like the former prisoner will have to finish his game on the outside, but not before he continues committing another violent robbery or a hundred.

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8 COMMENTS

  1. When I was in prison I complete Last of Us and the second version. It was a really good game prolly the best I ever played. We would do drugs in the morning to keep us stoked all day & at night the booze would come out. It’s like being in a holiday camp.

  2. The big game at the moment in our prison is Black Myth Wukong! All the inmates are playing it. It’s even better when you’ve got a few spliffs inside ya. The boss fights are the most amazing i’ve ever seen!

  3. I’ve been in prison. It’s not quite like what you describe. There are a lot more drugs available and many of the female prison guards are available for the right cost. I was in prison for drug dealing. I was in for five years. When I got out I had £15 million waiting for me in various banks and a villa in the Costa del Sol. I enjoyed prison in the UK and it was a decent holiday from all the crazy stuff.

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