17.7 C
Tuesday, June 18, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldTrump Election Fears That Biden Cadaver Controllers May Have Trick Up Sleeve

Trump Election Fears That Biden Cadaver Controllers May Have Trick Up Sleeve

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Someone or something is running the White House and controlling the puppet president Joe Biden. The question is, who is it?

No one quite knows who is running the White House or the walking remote controlled cadaver people call ‘Joe Biden’. This scary reality could have terrible implications for the incoming president — Donald. J. Trump, if he is not careful, his election campaign consultants have advised.

“What we know about Joe Biden is that he is a walking and talking cadaver, a puppet remotely controlled by some very clever people, and this could have very serious implications for our campaign,” Niles Kominsky, Trump’s lead election campaigner revealed on Thursday.

Some of the theories are that the Biden robot is fully controlled by Barack Hussein Obama, and his wife Michael. This is now officially Obama’s third term. One other theory is that Biden was at one point implanted with a Neuralink device in his dead brain tissue, which allowed him to look as if he was alive sometimes.

“It’s like a ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ scenario, because Biden is technically not alive, but here he is conducting news conferences and election campaigning. In addition to AI, we think he has an entire team of technicians in a huge data control centre which relays real-time instructions to his carcass. We are still baffled as to how he moves around if the body is not alive. One of our scientists suggested that electrical impulses in his muscles are stimulated by electric shocks that make the muscle move and Biden is able to look relatively normal,” Kominsky added.

Whatever happens during the election campaign season, questions must be asked how a deceased body could be manipulated to such an extent. All of this suits the Democrats just fine though because they do not like or want a president with his own mind and thoughts. It is better to have a blank canvas to input anything the political party wants at the touch of a button.

“It could be anything up there at the podium giving mumbling incoherent speeches that make America a laughingstock to the rest of the world, Hell, you could have a pork chop or a stuffed animal as a Democrat president as long as we make it look like it’s alive and making its own decisions. Joe Biden died some time before his fake election,” ex-CIA analyst Jebb Torkfers commented in a recent New York Times article.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"


  1. I heard thru the grapevine that the Pentagon is setting up a war with Iran next. I bet Biden will approve it cuz he don’t know better.

Comments are closed.

- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »