17.7 C
London
Thursday, February 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldIllegal Economic Migrant: "Now I am Christian I can Stay in Your...

Illegal Economic Migrant: “Now I am Christian I can Stay in Your Country”

DORSET - England - An illegal economic migrant is one of many who is claiming to have converted to Christianity to gain asylum in the UK.

buy squib book

As the sex attacker Abdul Shokoor Ezedi, who left mother and child disfigured with a vicious acid attack, is on the roam evading the police, it has now been revealed he was twice denied residence, but succeeded after conversion to Christianity. Now over 40 economic migrant asylum seekers who crossed into the country illegally are doing the same and claiming they have converted to Christianity.

“It is easy to fool the stupid Christian priests who are desperate to reclaim their dying clergy. I just went up to the reverend and said I wanted to be Christian. He immediately took me to the church, and I was baptised as a Christian. Now they cannot deport me. Abdul, Zaid, Muhammad and Jamal my friends are all now converting as well. In reality, we hate Christians and know nothing about the religion apart from they eat pigs,” an asylum seeker who recently converted to Christianity revealed.

Now as many as 40 asylum seekers on the Bibby Stockholm barge are said to be converting to Christianity, sparking fears that migrants are claiming to have changed their religion in order to be granted asylum.

“By claiming to be Christian, they cannot send me back to Afghanistan, where I will be persecuted. This is the best and easiest way to obtain a life of benefits and luxurious lifestyle in your country. Thank you, English idiots in your church, in the name of Allah and the Prophet Muhammad, praise be upon him, we have tricked you. I pray towards Mecca every day and spit on your filthy cross,” another jubilant asylum seeker revealed, laughing hysterically.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

2 COMMENTS

  1. You have to admit tho this is a great way of bypassing immigration control. These guys have MPs and immigratin officers running round in circles. Pure genius.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »