Benjamin Barthon-Welles, 22, from Islington, North London, lost his left arm today after supergluing himself to a Ferrari SF90 Stradale. With a top speed of 211 MPH, the Stradale is one of the fastest road cars in the world.
Eyewitness Giuseppe Stromboli saw the tragedy unfold in front of his very own eyes.
“He superglued his arm to the back of the car. This Arab dude got in but did not notice the Just Stop Oil eco zealot. The SF90 Stradale can go from 0-100 MPH in 4.5 seconds. The poor guy didn’t have a chance, innit. I heard a crack sound, then whoosh the Ferrari was gone. All there was left was this poor sod standing there with blood shooting out of the socket. I called the ambulance, and they came quickly in a few hours.”
The terrible incident happened just outside Harrods in Kensington, West London. The man was rushed to hospital, but medics are still trying to locate his arm, which is still stuck to the Ferrari.
“His arm could be anywhere by now. It could be halfway to Turin for all we know,” a medic on the scene revealed.
Police do not advise anyone to superglue their body parts to anything, especially fast moving objects.
He achieved his objective eh. Look on the positive side. All publicity is good publicity.
Please tell me they found his arm and sewed it back on. Poor bastard.