John Prescott Stops Pie Lorry In Middle of Road

HULL - England - Former Labour Deputy Prime Minister, John 'Two Jags' Prescott, was involved in a major traffic incident yesterday, near his home.

The 75-year-old, whose appetite for pork pies is renowned across England, was travelling in one of his Jaguars when witnesses say the car skidded to an abrupt stop in front of a 12-tonne lorry carrying pork pies to a local superstore.

“He had a crazed look in his eyes as he ran towards the truck with spittle streaming from his chomping mouth. I at once thought of a deranged zombie from some god awful film,” a freaked out witness told the BBC.

The scared lorry driver immediately got out of his cab and ran away in terror abandoning his truck and its glorious contents.

Mavis Belridge, 84, was driving her Nissan Micra and witnessed Prescott ransacking the lorry of its contents.

“I had just been to visit the local church fête and was on my way back, when I managed to look over the steering wheel to see a burly man sitting in the middle of the road devouring pork pies like there was no tomorrow. I can still see the look in his eyes, it was awful.”

Many bystanders who witnessed the unholy event have received counselling. Mr Prescott was not available for comment today as he was attending a croquet championship in his own back garden.