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Rubber Dinghy Sellers in Calais Making a Fortune

CALAIS - France - Rubber dinghy shops are appearing all over the French port and conducting a roaring business.

“If you want to make money in this depression you sell dinghy!” one rubber dinghy shop owner revealed from his makeshift Calais shop.

All along the beachfront now are thousands of temporary shops opening, selling only one thing, rubber dinghies.

The French authorities of course encourage entrepreneurship, especially when ‘entrepreneur’ is a French word.

“Tous ces rubber dinghy shops selling rubber dinghies des milliers de illegal migrants crossing la Manche is a boost pour l’économie Française, plus we get rid of these vagrants et dump them sur les Rosbeefs. C’est un ‘gagner gagner’ situation pour nous,” a Calais official revealed whilst counting a very large wad of money.

Reporters from British media sources were even given a grand tour of one of the shops selling rubber dinghies to illegal migrants.

“This rubber dinghy is economy model, 15 euros but it cannot hold no more than 10 illegal migrants so when 45 go in it, it sink. We also sell platinum model dinghy, only traffickers can afford at a 1,000 euro. That one can hold over 60 illegal migrants, and if you are a trafficker charging 6,000 euro to each migrant, it’s party time with profit margin. It also comes with super motor — very fast! We got paddles, we got motors, we got life jackets anything you want to cross over to Britain.”

Business is certainly booming in Calais, and looking at the queues around the block chock full of migrants and human traffickers, the dinghy bonanza is not going to end any time soon.

President Macron even visited the rubber dinghy businesses in Calais last week to show his appreciation of what they are doing for the local and greater economy of France.

Next stop — Dover, England, and a lovely welcome from the Brits.

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